IN WHICH LIZZIE RETURNS TO HER HOME, HAVING MET A QUEEN AND ACQUIRED AN ACCENT AND A FIANCE

"Sam Henshaw\'s girl had graduated an\' gone abroad with her mother. One Sunday \'bout a year later, Sam flew up to the door o\' my house in his automobile. He lit on the sidewalk an\' struggled up the steps with two hundred an\' forty-seven pounds o\' meat on him. He walked like a man carryin\' a barrel o\' pork. He acted as if he was glad to see me an\' the big arm-chair on the piaz\'.

"\'What\'s the news?\' I asked.

"\'Lizzie an\' her mother got back this mornin\',\' he gasped. \'They\'ve been six months in Europe. Lizzie is in love with it. She\'s hobnobbed with kings an\' queens. She talks art beautiful. I wish you\'d come over an\' hear her hold a conversation. It\'s wonderful. She\'s goin\' to be a great addition to this community. She\'s got me faded an\' on the run. I ran down to the store for a few minutes this mornin\', an\' when I got back she says to me:

"\'"Father, you always smell o\' ham an\' mustard. Have you been in that disgusting store? Go an\' take a bahth at once." That\'s what she called it—a "bahth." Talks just like the English people—she\'s been among \'em so long. Get into my car an\' I\'ll take ye over an\' fetch ye back.\'

"Sam regarded his humiliation with pride an\' joy. At last Lizzie had convinced him that her education had paid. My curiosity was excited. I got in an\' we flew over to his house. Sam yelled up the stairway kind o\' joyful as we come in, an\' his wife answered at the top o\' the stairs an\' says:

"\'Mr. Henshaw, I wish you wouldn\'t shout in this house like a boy calling the cows.\'

"I guess she didn\'t know I was there. Sam ran up-stairs an\' back, an\' then we turned into that splendid parlor o\' his an\' set down. Purty soon Liz an\' her mother swung in an\' smiled very pleasant an\' shook hands an\' asked how was my family, etc., an\' went right on talkin\'. I saw they didn\'t ask for the purpose of gettin\' information. Liz was dressed to kill an\' purty as a picture—cheeks red as a rooster\'s comb an\' waist like a hornet\'s. The cover was off her showcase, an\' there was a diamond sunburst in the middle of it, an\' the jewels were surrounded by charms to which I am not wholly insensible even now.

"\'I wanted ye to tell Mr. Potter about yer travels,\' says Sam.

[Illustration: "I wanted ye to tell Mr. Potter about yer travels." says Sam.]

"Lizzie smiled an\' looked out o\' the window a minute an\' fetched a sigh an\' struck out, lookin\' like Deacon Bristow the day he give ten dollars to the church. She told about the cities an\' the folks an\' the weather in that queer, English way she had o\' talking\'>

"\'Tell how ye hobnobbed with the Queen o\' Italy,\' Sam says.

"\'Oh, father! Hobnobbed!\' says she. \'Anybody would think that she and I had manicured each other\'s hands. She only spoke a few words of Italian and looked very gracious an\' beautiful an\' complimented my color.\'

"Then she lay back in her chair, kind o\' weary, an\' Sam asked me how was business—just to fill in the gap, I guess. Liz woke up an\' showed how far she\'d got ahead in the race.

"\'Business!\' says she, with animation. \'That\'s why I haven\'t any patience with American men. They never sit down for ten minutes without talking business. Their souls are steeped in commercialism. Don\'t you see how absurd it is, father? There are plenty of lovely things to talk about.\'

"Sam looked guilty, an\' I felt sorry for him. It had cost heavy to educate his girl up to a p\'int where she could give him so much advice an\' information. The result was natural. She was irritated by the large cubic capacity—the length, breadth, and thickness of his ignorance and unrefinement; he was dazed by the length, breadth, an\' thickness of her learning an\' her charm. He didn\'t say a word. He bowed his head before this pretty, perfumed casket of erudition.

"\'You like Europe,\' I says.

"\'I love it,\' says she, \'It\'s the only place to live. There one finds so much of the beautiful in art and music and so many cultivated people.\'

"Lizzie was a handsome girl, an\' had more sense than any o\' the others that tried to keep up with her. After all, she was Sam\'s fault, an\' Sam was a sin conceived an\' committed by his wife, as ye might say. She had made him what he was.

"\'Have you seen Dan Pettigrew lately?\' Lizzie asked.

"\'Yes.\' I says. \'Dan is goin\' to be a farmer.\'

"\'A farmer!" says she, an\' covered her face with her handkerchief an\' shook with merriment.

"\'Yes,\' I says. \'Dan has come down out o\' the air. He\'s abandoned folly. He wants to do something to help along.\'

"\'Yes, of course,\' says Lizzie, in a lofty manner. \'Dan is really an excellent boy—isn\'t he?\'

"\'Yes, an\' he\'s livin\' within his means—that\'s the first mile-stone in the road to success,\' I says. \'I\'m goin\' to buy him a thousand acres o\' land, an\' one o\' these days he\'ll own it an\' as much more. You wait. He\'ll have a hundred men in his employ, an\' flocks an\' herds an\' a market of his own in New York. He\'ll control prices in this county, an\' they\'re goin\' down. He\'ll be a force in the State.\'

"They were all sitting up. The faces o\' the Lady Henshaw an\' her daughter turned red.

"\'I\'m very glad to hear it, I\'m sure,\' said her Ladyship.

"\'I wasn\'t so sure o\' that as she was, an\' there, for me, was the milk in the cocoanut. I was joyful.

"\'Why, it\'s perfectly lovely!\' says Lizzie, as she fetched her pretty hands together in her lap.

"\'Yes, you want to cultivate Dan,\' I says. \'He\'s a man to be reckoned with.\'

"\'Oh, indeed!\' says her Ladyship.

"\'Yes, indeed!\' I says, \'an\' the girls are all after him.\'

"I just guessed that. I knew it was unscrupulous, but livin\' here in this atmosphere does affect the morals even of a lawyer. Lizzie grew red in the face.

"\'He could marry one o\' the Four Hundred if he wanted to,\' I says.
\'The other evening he was seen in the big red tourin\'-car o\' the
Van Alstynes. What do you think o\' that?\'

"Now that was true, but the chauffeur had been a college friend o\'
Dan\'s, an\' I didn\'t mention that.

"Lizzie had a dreamy smile in her face.

"\'Why, it\'s wonderful!\' says she. \'I didn\'t know he\'d improved so.\'

"\'I hear that his mother is doing her own work,\' says the Lady
Henshaw, with a forced smile.

"\'Yes, think of it,\' I says. \'The woman is earning her daily bread—actually helpin\' her husband. Did you ever hear o\' such a thing! I\'ll have to scratch \'em off my list. It\'s too uncommon. It ain\'t respectable.\'

"Her Ladyship began to suspect me an\' retreated with her chin in the air. She\'d had enough.

"I thought that would do an\' drew out o\' the game. Lizzie looked confident. She seemed to have something up her sleeve besides that lovely arm o\' hers.

"I went home, an\' two days later Sam looked me up again. Then the secret came out o\' the bag. He\'d heard that I had some money in the savin............