And then, after all, something stopped me, something I had never experienced before. Was it prejudice? Or moral restraint? I had no time to examine my feelings. Was it self-respect? Yes, that, without doubt. No one would ever know anything about it, but I should know about it myself! "Make up your mind!" I said to the man.
Had he an inkling of the danger he had been in? In any case he acquiesced without a word, and took the note, to which I added a louis.
I commandeered the rest of the bread, and three dozen eggs, which the girl was to boil till they were hard. She bustled about, but it took some time.
I paid for everything at three times its value, without turning a hair. The old man got a second louis, and to show his satisfaction, threw in a packet of salt!
I will not dwell upon our return journey. Bouillon had hung a cord round his neck with the poultry dangling at each end of it, in two bunches. They struggled and made a deafening din and twice over almost tripped him up. He gravely warned them:
"If you do that a third time, I shall lose my temper!"
Thirty yards farther on, he stopped.
"Got a pin?"
[Pg 373]
I handed him one without understanding why he wanted it.
He turned away. I became aware of a wild flapping, and then a faint rattle. "Next please!"
"I'll learn 'em not to be so bloomin' fond o' flies!"
He pricked them behind the head, one after the other, sighing.
"If only they was some o' them Bosches!"
When he entered the stable in front of us half an hour later, with the chaplet of chickens round his neck, the men were stupefied. Then an uproar arose.
"Oh! the cannibal!" cried Judsi.
"Good biz; grub at last!"
The men who were asleep had to be shaken and roused up. Their faces broke into broad smiles, their eyes lit up. Things went very quickly when once they were all up. Some of them had already been told off to pluck, to light fires, and do the roasting. Everyone hurried into the yard. Guillaumin and I slipped down beside De Valpic and told him all about our pranks. Guillaumin gaily gave him an account of the longing which had seized us, to despoil the old man, and violate the girl. It was a tremendous joy to have a conscience clear enough to be able to joke about it. De Valpic smiled in response. One felt how his whole being was yearning for the nourishment of which he had been deprived for nearly forty-eight hours.
We went to supervise the cooking. In the twinkling of an eye the men had built up piles of branches, and succeeded in lighting them, though the yard was soaking. The chickens had been plucked and dressed and were roasting fast, threaded on to bayonets which[Pg 374] willing volunteers were turning conscientiously under Gaufrèteau's direction. By his orders, too, bowls were put under them to catch the fat dripping from them. In half an hour's time, he pronounced the birds cooked to a turn. We presided over the division. Nothing was to go out of the platoon!
The battalion sergeant-major came and hung about.
"Halloa. Some looting been going on!"
"No," said Bouillon, "the sergeant paid, and a good price too."
Ravelli stood in the mud near by, and sniffed the good smell. But a remnant of dignity forbade him to beg. We ended by taking pity on him, and offering him a fine fleshy bone, which he set to work to gnaw like a dog.
I was tormented for quite a long time—poor wretches that we are—by the paltry fear that the men might not realise to the full to whom they owed the windfall. They had quite cheered up, and I saw them grouped round the fires which still flickered, and lit up their delighted faces, chewing the remains of their bones and munching their eggs. Perhaps they imagined that the company's mess-balance had paid for the feast. In any case their gratitude to my companions was just as great as it was to me. I should have liked to monopolise it!
Then I shook off this paltry thought. What was all this about benefactors and debtors. A lot there was to be proud about, in having paid, when I had the money to pay with. One felt that the good fellows would every one of them be capable of a similar action, rather than surprised at it!
Candour, simplicity of soul. Another effort. I was pulling myself up to it.
[Pg 375]
Guillaumin and I had reserved one whole chicken for ourselves. We took the best half of it to De Valpic. Alas! his appetite failed after the first mouthfuls, and he had great difficulty in getting through it.
We had de............