By ELIZABETH A. S. DAWES, M.A., D.Lit.
“Plus fait douceur que violence.”—La Fontaine, vi. 3.
“A beautiful behaviour is better than a beautiful form; it gives a higher pleasure than statues and pictures; it is the finest of the fine arts.”—Emerson.


 have chosen “courtesy” as the subject of my little address this time, as it is a virtue which is perhaps somewhat in danger of being forgotten and overlooked in these modern days of continual hurry and bustle; and yet it forms such an essential part of a beautiful character that nobody can justly claim the title of “gentleman” or “gentlewoman” if he or she neglects the practice of it, which is, too, the opinion of our Shakespeare, for he writes, “We must be gentle now we are gentlemen” (Winter’s Tale, v. 2).
The derivation of the word, which really means the manners and behaviour to be observed at a royal court, is neatly given by Spenser in his Faerie Queene, Book vi. 1.
“Of court, it seems, men courtesie do call,
For that it there most useth to abound;
And well beseemeth, that in princes hall
That vertue should be plentifully found,
Which of all goodly manners is the ground
And root of civil conversation”;
and Milton likewise says that “courtesy was first named in courts of princes.” And as an example of a prince who practised this virtue we may quote from an old memoir about Henry VIII., “We cannot omit to observe this courtly (shall I call it?) or good quality in him; that he was courteous, and did seem to study to oblige.” However, the English girls of to-day need not look far for the pattern of a perfectly gracious and courteous woman, for who fulfils this ideal better than her Gracious Majesty, Queen Victoria? Who better known than she for the courteous message of thanks to her troops when they have nobly done their duty, or for the quick expression of sympathy to the suffering victims of an accident or some personal bereavement?
Then for a definition or short explanation of what courtesy is we cannot do better than turn to The Greatest Thing in the World. Here on p. 26 we learn that courtesy is an ingredient of Love, that it is “Love in Society, Love in relation to Etiquette,” and has been defined as “love in little things”; in a word it is the quality denoted by the sentence, “Love doth not behave itself unseemly.” From these words we can also gather the reason why we should all show courtesy, for, as it is one of the components of love, and Christ said that all His disciples were to be distinguished from the rest of the world by their love for another, we shall not be true followers of Christ, or have a really beautiful character, if we omit any part of love; just as a beautiful mosaic could never be otherwise than imperfect, if, though complete in all other respects, the stones of one certain colour were everywhere missing.
It must also be remembered that a courteous behaviour should be worn always and everywhere, and not only put on like a grand robe for state occasions, for courtesy is “a happy way of doing things, and should adorn even the smallest details of life, and contribute to render it as a whole agreeable and pleasant.” Hence, first and foremost, courtesy should be practised in the home by the children both towards their parents and towards each other. This is a matter which merits more attention and thought than is generally given to it, for by a courteous manner and a gentle tongue, more influence in the government of others is often attained than by qualities of greater depth and substance. Now woman, not man, is the true home-maker, therefore girls should take great pains to be courteous, and thus by their gentleness lead and direct the perhaps rude and selfish brother who will probably unconsciously sooner or later imitate and adopt his sister’s gracious ways. A sweet-tongued gentle maiden cannot fail to render the home, be it a poor or rich one, both pleasant and dear to her brothers and sisters. And then to parents how far more gentle and courteous we all should be than we are. It has been well said that a blessing is never fully realised until it is lost, and so I fear we hardly any of us realise clearly and distinctly to ourselves how much our parents, especially our dear mothers, do and suffer for us until the day comes when we know what it is to be without them.
Dr. Miller, in his book The Building of Character, which I should earnestly recommend every girl to read, says, “Wherever else we may fail in patience, it should not be in our own homes. Only the sweetest life should have place there. We have not long to stay together, and we should be patient and gentle while we may.” And to enforce this teaching, he quotes one ............