Love that inflicts suffering and love which craves suffering are travesties on love, for normal love gives joy and craves joy. Yet, it may be that a too perfect adaption, one vouchsafing constantly to the mates the security they seek in each other's arms would soon pall on them. They might not remain attached to each other any longer than the animals who, in the majority of species, part as soon as they have fulfilled their biological mission.
A perfectly normal couple might die of boredom. What makes animals, when they have not been slightly perverted by contact with human beings, so uninteresting, is their absolute normality.
A very slight touch of "perversion" in at least one of the mates, seems necessary if the novelty of the relationship is not to wear off too soon.[Pg 213] Maybe I should not say perversion, but perverseness.
The normal husband who would die rather than hurt his life mate cannot compete with the romantic, lover, a little mysterious, unreliable, suspected of flirting with other women, who "keeps a woman guessing," pretends at times to be indifferent and has to be won over and over again.
The normal husband whose affection is taken for granted and who always says the proper thing at the proper time, remembers all anniversaries and celebrates them officially, pales in comparison with a tender, masochistic lover, whom every unkind gesture seems to wound deeply, whose affection is tinged with a melancholy longing, who treasures little sentimental memories which his earnestness makes at times rather poignant.
The Sadistic Lover carries a woman off her feet by the daredevil things he may indulge in when away from her. The masochist touches deeply the motherly chord in her by the acts of kindness and devotion he may perform for other............