Modern love, as I have endeavored to show in the preceding chapters is infinitely more complex than love was in the past. When woman was meant to obey and serve, when feudalism or any other rigid caste system set clear-cut boundaries to each individual's range of development, there was less unrest among women just as there was less unrest among slaves. And both the mediaeval slave and the mediaeval women were probably absolute bores. Unrest is growth and complexity is the obvious evidence of growth.
Love stirrings among the amoebae are probably similar to those experienced by human beings. Nature probably puts a premium of pleasure on the cleavage of the unicellular animal which reproduces itself by dividing itself in two, by issuing forth another cell, as it does on the human male when his gonads liberate spermatozoa.
[Pg 292]
But the amoeba's love feelings are extremely simple and lead to no complication for they imply no enduring companionship, no responsibilities to a mate nor to the "offspring."
What We Expect of the Modern Woman. The modern woman who is expected to be, not merely a sexual mate but a social and intellectual mate as well, a companion in our athletic diversions, a comrade-at-arms in the world's battles, and many other things, can no longer allow chance to interrupt her developmental strivings, to handicap her in the friendly race she is running with the mate of her choice for intellectual accomplishment by unexpected, unwelcome, inconvenient pregnancy and child bearing.
Every child claims two years of its mother's life and it seems reasonable that the mother should have something to say as to what number that chapter will bear in her biography.
As only the very weak-minded or very hypocritical offer as a remedy for frequent pregnancy male continence, we shall not even consider for one minute such an absurd, abnormal, biologically immoral solution.
The Only Solution. The only other solution which has ever been proposed is a system of sexual[Pg 293] enlightenment which will enable a woman to prevent pregnancy until such time when she feels that she can in justice to herself and to her offspring bear a child, and will, further, enable her to have an abortion performed when, in spite of all contraceptive measures, pregnancy has begun.
This solution has been adopted by the entire civilised world, and in fact, I might say that the degree of civilisation of a race or nation can be accurately gauged by the number of individuals within that race or nation practicing birth control.
With very few exceptions, a large family betokens stupidity, poverty and ignorance. It is the poor, the stupid and the ignorant who are burdened with children and, in turn, that burden keeps them stupid, poor and ignorant. A vicious circle which seems hard to break.
The Human Milch Cow. Many a time when beholding some miserable female from the slums wrecked by repeated childbearing, dwarfed in mind, deformed in body, I have felt that sexual relations between her and her mate had probably reached the level at which they could only by an unusual stretch of one's imagination, be even distantly connected with love. To her and to her mate, every[Pg 294] embrace, except after the onset of pregnancy, meant added suffering, added expense, further physical degradation and decay.
Since the "nice" people, however, know the remedy and apply it, why bother any longer? Because, while normally intelligent men and women know how to avoid pregnancy and to whom to turn when an accident happens, the greatest uncertainty about contraception obsesses their minds and panicky fears bring about many catastrophes when the unwelcome fruit must be removed from the mother's body.
Thousands of men and woman, enlightened in the mysteries of contraception by some one who is little less ignorant than themselves, are chilled in their enjoyment of lawful love by the thought of possible danger.
Many women accept their husbands caresses in fear and trembling and many, imagining that there is a close connection between orgasm and pregnancy succeed in making themselves frigid, which leads to neurotic disturbances in the wife and unhappiness for both mates. Many husbands never dare to "let themselves go" unless it be in the arms of a prostitute who is "wise" and can "take care of herself." Many a woman has deceived her husband[Pg 295] because a wise "man of the world" assured her that she ran no risk of pregnancy in his arms.
The Nightmare of Abortion. And, if in spite of all, an "accident" happens, what is the mental state of the woman who calls at the "unethical" practitioner's office? While such an operation practiced with a modicum of skill may be harmless, the dread fear of possible consequences is quite able to kill the woman.
Fear may bring forth any morbid symptom, from an embolus to violent suppuration.
Fear, on the other hand, on which the advocates of suppressive measures rely, hardly ever leads anyone to continence or prevents any one from resorting to abortion.
Legal obstacles to contraceptive education attain only one result. They make married love risky and unpleasant, kill many a young woman and, in the case of neurotic mothers, allow one morbid generation to bring into this world another morbid generation.
The Plight of the Neurotic Woman. Many neurotic women imagine that they hate their husbands and rationalise that hatred by bringing up many absurd, imaginary charges against them. To them their husbands symbolise pregnancy.
[Pg 296]
Many neurotic mothers, who did not wish to bear another child, often compensate for their lack of real love for the unwelcome child by an absurd, exaggerated tenderness which spoils the child or develops morbid fears (the fear they might hurt or kill the child, fear as to the child's health or welfare) which wreck the child's mental balance and not infrequently land the mother in a sanatarium.
A neurotic woman I treated was obsessed by the fear that she might some day kill her husband and children. Several years ago she had had an abortion performed by a midwife whom she did not trust. Septic poisoning set in and she hovered between life and death for several months. A great fear of death drove her into reading many religious books. She came to the conclusion that she had committed a murder.
But her husband, having impregnated her, was more guilty than she, for he was the cause of it all. Hence, her insane logic added, he and she would be better off dead than leading a sinful life. She should, therefore, kill him and kill herself. Furthermore, her children being the offspring of murderers, must be themselves tainted with criminal tendencies and should also be saved from a life of crime. When she was brought to me she had attempted[Pg 297] to kill the entire family by turning on the gas fauc............