I USED to hear the summer boarders tell a whole lot about a place here in New York kept by Mr. Delmonico. Thar's bin¹ about ten thousand summer boarders down to Punkin Centre one time and another, and I guess I've carried the bundles and stood the grumblin' from about all of them; and when anyone of 'em would find fault with anythin' I used to ast him whar he boarded at in New York, and they all told me at Mr. Delmonico's; so I'd cum to the conclusion that Mr. Delmonico must hav a right smart purty good sized tavern²; and I sed to mother—now mother, when I git down to New York that's whar I'm goin' to board, at Mr. Delmonico's.  
Wall, I got a feller to show me whar it wuz, and when I got on the inside I don't s'pose I wuz ever more sot back in all my life; guess you could have knocked my eyes off with a club; they stuck out like bumps on a log. Wall sir, they had flowers and birds everywhere, and trees a settin' in wash tubs, didn't look to me as though they would stand much of a gale³; and about a hundred and fifty patent wind mills runnin' all to onct, and out in the woods somewhar they had a band a-playin'. I couldn't see 'em but I could hear 'em; guess some of 'em wuz a havin' a dance to settle down their dinner; I couldn't tell............