Another three weeks. The shutters rose and fell on time. I was still a prisoner in mynightmares, and every morning the play began again. But was it a play? I put on a feignedcomposure, and Rheya played the same game. The deception was mutual and deliberate, andour agreement only contributed to our ultimate evasion. We talked about the future, and ourlife on Earth on the outskirts of some great city. We would spend the rest of our lives amonggreen trees and under a blue sky, and never leave Earth again. Together we planned the lay-outof our house and garden and argued over details like the location of a hedge or a bench.

I do not believe that I was sincere for a single instant. Our plans were impossible, and I knewit, for even if Rheya could leave the Station and survive the voyage, how could I have gotthrough the immigration checks with my clandestine passenger? Earth admits only humanbeings, and even then only when they carry the necessary papers. Rheya would be detained foran identity check at the first barrier, we would be separated, and she would give herself away atonce. The Station was the one place where we could live together. Rheya must have knownthat, or found it out.

One night I heard Rheya get out of bed silently. I wanted to stop her; in the darkness andsilence we occasionally managed to throw off our despair for a while by making each otherforget. Rheya did not notice that I had woken up. When I stretched my hand out, she wasalready out of bed, and walking bare-foot towards the door. Without daring to raise my voice, Iwhispered her name, but she was outside, and a narrow shaft of light shone through thedoorway from the corridor.

There was a sound of whispering. Rheya was talking to somebody…but whom? Panicovertook me when I tried to stand up, and my legs would not move. I listened, but heardnothing. The blood hammered through my temples. I started counting, and was approaching athousand when there was a movement in the doorway and Rheya returned. She stood there fora second without moving, and I made myself breathe evenly.

"Kris?" she whispered.

I did not answer.

She slid quickly into bed and lay down, taking care not to disturb me. Questions buzzed in mymind, but I would not let myself be the first to speak, and made no move. The silentquestioning went on for an hour, maybe more. Then I fell asleep.

The morning was like any other. I watched Rheya furtively, but could not see any change inher behavior. After breakfast, we sat at the big panoramic window. The Station was hoveringamong purple clouds. Rheya was reading, and as I stared out I suddenly noticed that by holdingmy head at a certain angle I could see us both reflected in the window. I took my hand off therail. Rheya had no idea that I was watching her. She glanced at me, obviously decided from myposture that I was looking at the ocean, then bent to kiss the place where my hand had rested.

In a moment she was reading her book again.

"Rheya," I asked gently, "where did you go last night?""Last night?""Yes.""You…you must have been dreaming, Kris. I didn't go anywhere.""You didn't leave the cabin?""No. It must have been a dream.""Perhaps…yes, perhaps I dreamt it."The same evening, I started talking about our return to Earth again, but Rheya stopped me:

"Don't talk to me about the journey again, Kris. I don't want to hear any more about it, youknow very well…""What?""No, nothing."After we went to bed, she said that she was thirsty:

"There's a glass of fruit-juice on the table over there. Could you give it to me?" She drank halfof it then handed it to me.

"I'm not thirsty.""Drink to my health then," she smiled.

It tasted slightly bitter, but my mind was on other things. She switched the light off.

"Rheya…If you won't talk about the voyage, let's talk about something else.""If I did not exist, would you marry?""No.""Never?""Never.""Why not?""I don't know. I was by myself for ten years and I didn't marry again. Let's not talk aboutthat…" My head was spinning as if I had been drinking too much.

"No, let's talk about it. What if I begged you to?""To marry again? Don't be silly, Rheya. I don't need anybody except you."I felt her breath on my face and her arms holding me:

"Say it another way.""I love you."Her head fell to my shoulder, and I felt tears.

"Rheya, what's the matter?""Nothing…nothing…nothing…" Her voice echoed into silence, and my eyes closed.

The red dawn woke me with a splitting head and a neck so stiff that I felt as if the bones werewelded together. My tongue was swollen, and my mouth felt foul. Then I reached out forRheya, and my hand touched a cold sheet.

I sat up with a start.

I was alone—alone in bed and in the cabin. The concave window reflected a row of red suns. Idragged myself out of bed and staggered over to the bathroom, reeling like a drunkard andpropping myself up on the furniture. It was empty. So was the workshop.

"Rheya!"Calling, running up and down the corridor.

"Rheya!" I screamed, one last time, then my voice gave out. I already knew the truth…I do not remember the exact sequence of events after that, as I stumbled half naked through allthe length and breadth of the Station. It seems to me that I even went into the refrigerationsection, searched through the storage rooms, hammered with my fists on bolted doors, thencame back again to throw myself against doors which had already resisted me. I half-fell downflights of steps, picked myself up and hurried onwards. When I reached the double armoureddoors which opened onto the ocean I was still calling, still hoping that it was a dream.

Somebody was standing by me. Hands took hold of me and pulled me away.

I came to my senses again lying on a metal table in the little workshop and gasping for breath.

My throat and nostrils were burning with some alcoholic vapor, my shirt was soaked in water,and my hair plastered over my skull.

Snow was busy at a medicine cupboard, shifting instruments and glass vessels which clatteredwith an unbearable din. Then his face appeared, looking gravely down into my eyes.

"Where is she?""She is not here.""But…Rheya…"He bent over me, brought his face closer, and spoke very slowly and clearly:

"Rheya is dead.""She will come back," I whispered.

Instead of dreading her return, I wanted it. I did not attempt to remind myself why I myself hadonce tried to drive her away, and why I had been so afraid of her return.

"Drink this."Snow held out a glass, and I threw it in his face. He staggered back, rubbing his eyes, and bythe time he opened them again I was on my feet and standing over him. How small he was…"It was you.""What do you mean?""Come on Snow, you know............