PATRICIA HAD HER ARMS around Ben Caxton and gave him the all-outkiss of brotherhood before he knew what hit him. She felt at once his uneaseand was herself surprised, because Michael had told her to expect him, givenher Ben’s face in her mind, had explained that Ben was a brother in allfullness, of the Inner Nest, and she knew that Jill was growncloser with Bensecond only to that with Michael . . . which was always necessarily first sinceMichael was the fountain and source of all their knowledge of the water oflife.
But the foundation of Patricia’s nature was an endless wish to make otherpeople as happy as she was; she slowed down. She invited Ben to get rid ofhis clothes but did so casually and did not press the matter, except to askhim to remove his shoes, with the explanation that the Nest was everywherekind to bare feet and the unstated corollary that street shoes would not bekind to it-it was soft and clean as only Michael’s powers could keep thingsclean, which Ben could see for himself.
Aside from that she merely pointed out where to hang any clothes he foundtoo warm for the Nest and hurried away to fetch him a drink. She didn’t askhis preferences; she knew them from Jill. She merely decided that he wouldchoose a double martini this time rather than Scotch and soda, the poor dearlooked tired. When she came back with a drink for each of them, Ben wasbarefooted and had removed his street jacket. .Brother, may you neverthirst.“.We share water,“ he agreed and drank. .But there’s mighty little water inthat.“.Enough,“ she answered. .Michael says that the water could be completely inthe thought; it is the sharing. I grok he speaks rightly.“.I grok. And it’s just what I needed. Thanks, Patty.“.Ours is yours and you are ours. We’re glad you’re safely home. Just now theothers are all at services or teaching. But there’s no hurry; they will comewhen waiting is filled. Would you like to look around your Nest?“Still puzzled but interested Ben let her lead him on a guided tour. Some partsof it were commonplace: a huge kitchen with a bar at one end-rather short ongadgets and having the same kind-to-the-feet floor covering as elsewhere,but not notable otherwise save for size-a library even more loaded thanJubal’s, bathrooms ample and luxurious, bedrooms- Ben decided that theymust be bedrooms although they contained no beds but simply floors thatwere even softer than elsewhere; Patty called them .little nests“ and showedhim one she said she usually slept in.
It contained her snakes.
It had been fitted on one side for the comfort of snakes. Ben suppressed hisown slight queasiness about snakes until he came to the cobras. .It’s allright,“ she assured him. .We did have glass in front of them. But Michael hastaught them that they must not come past this line.“.I think I would rather trust glass.“.Okay, Ben.“ In remarkably short order she replaced the glass barrier, frontand top. But he was relieved when they left, even though he managed tostroke Honey Bun when invited to. Before returning to the huge living roomPat showed him one other room. It was large, circular, had a floor whichseemed almost as cushiony as that of the bedrooms, and no furniture. In itscenter was a round pool of water, almost a swimming pool. .This,“ she toldhim, .is the Innermost Temple, where we receive new brothers into the Nest.“She went over and dabbled a foot in the water. .Just right,“ she said. .Wantto share water and grow closer? Or maybe just swim?“.Uh, not right now.“.Waiting is,“ she agreed. They returned to the living room and Patricia wentto get him another drink. Ben settled himself on a big, very comfortablecouch-then got up at once. The place was too warm for him, that first drinkwas making him sweat, and leaning back on a couch that adjusted itself toowell to his contours made him just that much hotter. He decided it was damnsilly to dress the way he would in Washington, warm as it was in here-andwith Patty decked out in nothing but ink and a bull snake she had left aroundher shoulders during the latter part of the tour that reptile would keep himfrom temptation even if it wasn’t already clearly evident that Patty was nottrying to be provocative.
He compromised by leaving on jockey shorts and hung his other clothes inthe foyer. As he did so, he noticed a sign printed on the inside of the doorthrough which he had entered: .Did You Remember to Dress?“He decided that, in this odd household, this gentle warning might benecessary if any were absent-minded. Then he saw something else that hehad missed on coming in, his attention earlier having been seized by thesight of Patty herself. On each side of the door was a large bowl, as gross asa bushel basket-and each was tilled with money.
More than filled- Federation notes of various denominations spilled out onthe floor.
He was staring at this improbability when Patricia returned. .Here’s yourdrink, Brother Ben. Grow close in Happiness.“.Uh, thanks.“ His eyes returned to the money.
She followed his glance. .You must think I’m a sloppy housekeeper, Ben-andI am. Michael makes it so easy, most of the cleaning and such, that I forget“She squatted down, retrieved the money, stuffed it into the less crowdedbowl.
.Patty, why in the world?“.Oh. We keep it here because this door leads out to the street. Just forconvenience. If one of us is leaving the Nest-and I do, myself, almost everyday for grocery shopping-we are likely to need money. So we keep it whereyou won’t forget to take some with you.“.You mean ... just grab a handful and go?“.Why, of course, dear. Oh, I see what you mean. But there is never anyonehere but us. No visitors, ever. If any of us have friends outside- and, ofcourse, all of us do-there are plenty of nice rooms lower down, the ordinarySort that outsiders are used to, where we can visit with them. This moneyisn’t where it can tempt a weak person.“.Huh! I’m pretty weak, myself!“She chuckled gently at his joke. .How can it tempt you when it’s alreadyyours? You’re part of the Nest.“.Uh ... I suppose so. But don’t you worry about burglars?“ He was trying toguess how much money one of those bowls contained. Most of the notesseemed to be larger than singles-hell, he could see one with three zeroes onit still on the floor, where Patty had missed it in her tidying up.
.One did get in, just last week.“.So? How much did he steal?“.Oh, he didn’t. Michael sent him away.“.Called the cops?“.Oh, no, no- Michael would never turn anybody over to the cops. I grok thatwould be a wrongness Michael just-. She shrugged. .-made him go away.
Then Duke fixed the hole in the skylight in the garden room-did I show youthat? It’s lovely ... a grass floor. But I remember that you have a grass floor,Jill told me. That’s where Michael first saw one. Is it grass all over? Everyroom?“.Just my living room.“.If I ever get to Washington, can I walk on it? Lie down on it? Please?“.Of course, Patty. Uh, ..it’s yours.“.I know, dear. But it’s not in the Nest, and Michael has taught us that it isgood to ask, even when we know the answer is yes. I’ll lie on it and feel thegrass against me and be filled with Happiness to be in my brother’s .littlenest.’
.You’ll be most welcome, Patty.“ Ben reminded himself sharply that he didn’tgive a hoot in hell what his neighbors thought-but he hoped she would leaveher snakes behind. .When will you be there?“.I don’t know. When waiting is filled. Maybe Michael knows.“.Well, warn me if you can, so I’ll be in town. If not, Jill always knows the codefor my door-I change it occasionally. Patty, doesn’t anybody keep track of thismoney?“.What for, Ben?“.Uh, people usually do.“.Well, we don’t. Just help yourself as you go out-then put back any you haveleft when you conic home, if you remember to. Michael told rue to keep thegrouch bag filled. If it runs low I get some more from him.“Ben dropped the matter, stonkered by the simplicity of the arrangement. Healready had some idea, from Mike and second-hand from Jill and Jubal, ofthe moneyless communism of the Martian culture; he could see that Mikehad set up an enclave of it here-and these bowls of cash marked thetransition point whereby one passed from Martian to Terran economy. Hewondered if Patty knew that it was a fake . . - bolstered up by Mike’senormous fortune. He decided not to ask.
.Patty, how many are there in the Nest?“ He felt a mild worry that he wasacquiring too many sharing brothers without his consent, then shoved backthe thought as unwOrthy after all, why would any of them want to sponge onhim? Other than, possibly to lie on his grass rug~-he didn’t have any pots ofgold just inside his door.
.Let me see ... there are almost twenty now, ~ountiflg novitiate brothers whodon’t really think in Martial) yet and aren’t ordained.“.Are you ordained, Patty?“.Oh, yes. But mostly I teach. Beginners’ classes in Martian, and I helpnovitiate brothers and such. And Dawn and I-Dawn and Jill are each HighPriestes -Dawn and I are pretty well-known Fosterites, especially Dawn, sowe work together to show other FosteriteS that the Church of All Worldsdoesn’t conflict with the Faith, any more than being a Bapfist keeps a manfrom joining the Masons.“ She showed Ben Foster’s kiss, explained what itmeant, and showed him also its miraculous companion placed by Mike.
.They all know what Foster’s kiss means and how hard it is to win it and bythen they’ve seen some of Mike’s miracles and they are just about ripe tobuckle down and sweat to climb into a higher circle.“.It’s an effort?“.Of course it is, Ben-for them. In your case and mine, and Jill’s, and a fewothers-YOU know them all-Michael called us straight into brotherhood. But toothers Michael first teaches a discipline-not a faith but a way to realize faith inworks. And that means they’ve got to start by learning Martian. That’s noteasy; I’m not perfect in it myself. But it is much Happiness to work and learn.
You asked about the size of the Nest-let me see, Duke and Jim and Michaeland myself-two Fosterites, Dawn and myself . . . one circumcised Jew andhis wife and four children-.
.Kids in the Nest?“.Oh, more than a dozen. Not here, but in the nestlings’ nest just off of here;nobody could meditate with kids hooting and hollering and raising Ned, Wantto see it?“.Uh, later.“.One Catholic couple with a baby boy-excommunicated I’m sorry to say; theirpriest found out about it. Michael had to give them very special help; it was anasty shock to them-and so utterly unnecessary. They were getting up earlyevery Sunday morning to go to mass just as usual-but kids will talk. OneMormon family of the new schism-that’s three more, and their kids. The restare the usual run of Protestants and one atheist . . . that is, he thought hewas an atheist, until Michael opened his eyes. He came here to scoff; hestayed to learn . . - and he’ll be a priest before long. Uh, nineteen grown-ups-I’m pretty sure that’s right though it’s hard to say, since we’re hardly ever allin the Nest at once, except for our own services in the Innermost Temple.
The Nest is built to hold eighty-one-that’s .three-filled,’ or three times threemultiplied by itself-but Michael says that there will be much waiting beforewe’d need a bigger nest and by then we will be building other nests. Ben?
Wouldn’t you like to see an outer service, see how Michael makes the pitch,instead of just listening to me ramble on? Michael will be preaching just aboutnow.“.Why, yes, if it’s not too much trouble.“.You could go by yourself. But I’d like to go with you ... and I’m not busy. Justa see, dearie, while I get decent.“.Jubal, she was back in a couple of minutes in a robe not unlike Anne’sWitness robe but cut differently, with angel-wing sleeves and a high neck andthe trademark Mike uses for the Church of All Worlds-nine concentric circlesand a conventionalized Sun-embroidered over her heart. This getup was apriestess robe, her vestments; Jill and the other priestesses wear the samesort, except that Patty’s was opaque, a heavy synthetic silk, and came sohigh that it covered her cartoons, and was caught at both wrists for the samereason. She had put on stockings, too, or maybe bobby socks, and wascarrying sandals.
.Changed the hell out of her, Jubal. It gave her great dignity. Her face is quitenice and I could see that she was considerably older than I had first guessedher although not within twenty years of what she claims to be. She has anexquisite complexion and I thought what a shame it was that anyone hadever touched a tattooing needle to such skin.
.I had dressed again. She asked me to take off just my shoes because weweren’t going out the way I had come in. She led me back through the Nestand out into a corridor; we stopped to put on shoes and went down a rampthat wound down maybe a couple of floors until we reached a gallery. It wassort of a loge overlooking the main auditorium. Mike was holding forth on theplatform. No pulpit, no altar, just a lecture hall, with a big All-Worlds symbolon the wall behind him. There was a robed priestess on the platform with himand, at that distance, I thought it was Jill- but it wasn’t; it was another womanwho looks a bit like her and is almost as beautiful. The other high priestess,Dawn-Dawn Ardent.“.What was that name?“ Jubal interrupted.
.Dawn Ardent-née Higgins, if you want to be fussy.“.I’ve met her.“.I know you have, you allegedly retired goat. She’s got a crush on you...“Jubal shook his head. .Some mistake. The .Dawn Ardent’ I mean I just barelymet, about two years ago. She wouldn’t even remember me.“.She remembers you. She gets every one of your pieces of commercial crud,on tape, under every pseudonym she has been able to track down. She goesto sleep by them, usually, and they give her beautiful dreams. She says.
Furthermore there is no doubt that she knows who you are. Jubal, that bigliving room, the Nest proper, has exactly one item of ornamentation, if you’llpardon the word-a life-sized color so11y of your head. Looks as if you hadbeen decapitated, with your face in a hideous grin. A candid shot that Dukesneaked of you, I understand.“.Why, that brat!“.Jill asked him to, behind your back.“.Double brat!“.Sir, you are speaking of the woman I love-although I’m not alone in thatdistinction. But Mike put her up to it. Brace yourself, Jubal-you are the patronsaint of the Church of All Worlds.“Jubal looked horrified. .They can’t do this to me!“.They already have. But don’t worry; it’s unofficial and not publicized. ButMike freely gives you credit, inside the Nest just among water brothers, forhaving instigated the whole show and explained things to him so well that hewas finally able to figure out how to put over Martian theology to humans.“Jubal looked about to retch. Ben went on, .I’m afraid you can’t duck it. But inaddition, Dawn thinks you’re beautiful. Aside from that quirk, she is anintelligent woman-and utterly charming. But I digress. Mike spotted us atonce, waved and called out, .Hi, Ben! Later’-and went on with his spiel.
.Jubal, I’m not going to try to quote him, you’ll just have to hear it. He didn’tsound preachy and he didn’t wear robes-just a smart, welltailored, whitesyntholinen suit. He sounded like a damned good car salesman, except thatthere was no doubt he was talking about religion. He cracked jokes and toldparables-none of them straitlaced but nothing really dirty, either. The essenceof it was a sort of pantheism . . . one of his parables was the oldy about theearthworm burrowing along through the soil who encounters anotherearthworm and at once says, .Oh, you’re beautiful! You’re lovelyl Will youmarry me?’ and is answered: .Don’t be silly! I’m your other end.’ You’veheard it before?“.’Heard it?’ I wrote it!“.I hadn’t realized it was that old. Anyhow, Mike made good use of it. His ideais that whenever you encounter any other grokking thing-he didn’t say.grokking’ at this stage-any other living thing, man, woman, or stray cat . . .
you are simply encountering your .other end’ . . . and the universe is just alittle thing we whipped up among us the other night for our entertainment andthen agreed to forget the gag. He put it in a much more sugar-coated fashion,being extremely careful not to tread on competitors’ toes.“Jubal nodded and looked sour. .Solipsism and Pantheism. Teamed togetherthey can explain anything. Cancel out any inconvenient fact, reconcile alltheories, and include any facts or delusions you care to name. Trouble is, it’sjust cotton candy, all taste and no substance-and as unsatisfactory as solvinga story by saying: .-and then the little boy fell out of bed and woke up; it wasjust a dream.’“.Don’t crab at me about it; take it up with Mike. But believe me, he made itsound convincing. Once he stopped and said, .You must be tired of so muchtalk-. and they yelled back, .No!’-I tell you, he really had them. But heprotested that his voice was tired and, anyhow, a church ought to havemiracles and this was a church, even though it didn’t have a mortgage.
.Dawn, fetch me my miracle box.’ Then he did some really amazing sleightof-hand. Did you know he had been a magician with a carnival?“.I knew he had been with it. He never told me the exact nature of hisshame.“.He’s a crackerjack magician; he did stunts for them that had me fooled. Butit wouldn’t have mattered if it had been only the card tricks kids learn; it washis patter that had them rolling in the aisles. Finally he stopped and saidapologeticallY~ .The Man from Mars is supposed to be able to do wonderfulthings . . . so I have to pass a few miracles each meeting. I can’t help beingthe Man from Mars; it’s just something that happened to me. But miraclescan happen for you, too, if you want them. However, to be allowed to seeanything more than these narrow-gauge miracles, you must enter the Circle.
Those of you who truly want to learn I will see later. Cards are being passedaround,’
.Patty explained to me what Mike was really doing. .This crowd is just marks,dear-people who come out of curiosity or maybe have been shined in bysome of our own people who have reached one of the inner circles.’ Jubal,Mike has the thing rigged in nine circles, like degrees in a lodge-and nobodyis told that there actually is a circle farther in until they’re ready to be inductedinto it. .This is just Michael’s bally,’ Pat told me, .which he does as easy as hebreathes-while all the time he’s feeling them out, sizing them up, gettinginside their heads and deciding which ones are even possible. Maybe one inten. That’s why he strings it out- Duke is up behind that grille and Michaeltells him every mark who just might measure up, where he sits andeverything. Michael’s about to turn this tip . . . and spill the ones he doesn’twant. Dawn will handle that part, after she gets the seating diagram fromDuke.’“.How did they work that?“ asked Harshaw.
.I didn’t see it, Jubal. Does it matter? There are a dozen ways they could cutfrom the herd the ones they wanted as long as Mike knew which they wereand bad worked out some way to signal Duke. I don’t know. Patty says he’sclairvoyant and says it with a straight face-and, do you know, I won’t discountthe possibility. But right after that, they took the collection. Mike didn’t doeven this in church style-you know, soft music and dignified ushers. He saidnobody would believe that this was a church service if be didn’t take acollection . . . so he would, but with a difference. Either take it or put it-suityourself. Then, so help me, they passed collection baskets already loadedwith money. Mike kept telling them that this was what the last crowd had left,so help themselves . . . if they were broke or hungry and needed it. But if theyfelt like giving . . - give. Share with others. Just do one or the other-putsomething in, or take something out. When I saw it, I figured he had foundone more way to get rid of too much money.“Jubal said thoughtfully, .I’m not sure he would lose by it. That pitch, properlygiven, should result in more people giving more . . . while a few take just alittle. And probably very few. I would say that it would be hard indeed to reachin and take out money when the people on each side of you are puttingmoney in . . unless you need it awfully badly.“.I don’t know, Jubal ... but I understand that they are just as casual aboutthose collections as they are about that stack of dough upstairs. But Pattywhisked me away when Mike turned the service over to his high priestess. Iwas taken to a much smaller auditorium where services were just opening forthe seventh circle in-people who had belonged for several months at leastand had made progress. If it is progress.
.Jubal, Mike had gone straight from one to the other, and I couldn’t adjust tothe change. That outer meeting was half popular lecture and half sheerentertainment-this one was more nearly a voodoo rite. Mike was in robes thistime; he looked taller, ascetic, and intense-! swear his eyes gleamed. Theplace was dimly lighted, there was music that was creepy and yet made youwant to dance. This time Patty and I took a double seat together, a couchthat was darn near a bed. What the service was all about I couldn’t say. Mikewould sing out to them in Martian, they would answer in Martian__-except forchants of .Thou art GodI Thou art God!’ which was always echoed by someMartian word that would make my throat sore to try to pronounce it.“Jubal made a croaking noise. .Was that it?“.Huh? I believe it was-allowing for your horrible tall-corn accent. Jubal . . . areyou hooked? Have you just been stringing me along?“.No. Stinky taught it to me-and he says that it’s heresy of the blackest sort.
By his lights I mean-I couldn’t care less. It’s the Martian word Mike translatesas: .Thou art God.’ But our brother Mahmoud says that isn’t even close tobeing a translation. It’s the universe proclaiming its own self-awareness . . *or it’s .peccavimus’ with a total absence of contrition or a dozen other things,all of which don’t translate it. Stinky says that not only it can’t be translatedbut that he doesn’t really understand it in Martian-except that it is a bad word,the worst possible in his opinion and much closer to Satan’s defiance than itis to the blessing of a benevolent God. Go on. Was that all there was to it?
Just a bunch of fanatics yelling Martian at each other?“.Uh ... Jubal, they didn’t yell and it wasn’t fanatical. Sometimes they wouldbarely whisper, the room almost dead quiet. Then it might climb in volume alittle but not much. They did it in sort of a rhythm, a pattern, like a cantata, asif they had rehearsed it a long time . . . and yet it didn’t feel as if they hadrehearsed it; it felt more as if they were all just one person, humming tohimself whatever he felt at the moment. Jubal, you’ve seen how theFosterites get themselves worked up-.
.Too much of it, I’m sorry to say.“.Well, this was not that sort of frenzy at all; this was quiet and easy, likedropping off to sleep. It was intense all right and got steadily more so, but-Jubal, ever sit in on a spiritualist séance?“.I have. I’ve tried everything I could, Ben.“.Then you know how the tension can grow without anybody moving or sayinga word. This was much more like that than it was like a shouting revival, oreven the most sedate church service. But it wasn’t mild; it packed terrificwallop.“.The technical word is .Apollonian.’“.Huh?“.As opposed to .Dionysian.’ And both rather Procrustean I’m sorry to say.
People tend to simplify .Apollonian’ into .mild,’ and .calm,’ and .cool.’ But.Apollonian’ and .Dionysian’ are two sides of the same coin-a nun on herknees in her cell, holding perfectly still and her facial muscles relaxed, can bein a religious ecstasy more frenzied than any priestess of Pan Priapuscelebrating the vernal equinox. Ecstasy is in the skull, not in the setting-upexercises.“ Jubal frowned. .Another common error is to identify .Apollonian’
with .good’-merely because our most respectable sects are all ratherApollonian in ritual and precept. Mere local prejudice. Proceed.“.Well ... things weren’t as quiet as a nun at her devotions anyhow. Theydidn’t just stay seated and let Mike entertain them. They wandered about abit, swapped seats, and there was no doubt that there was necking going on;no more than necking, I believe, but the lighting was very low key and it washard to see from one pew to another. One gal wandered over our way,started to join us, but Patty gave her some sign to let us be so she just kissedus and left.“ Ben grinned. .Kissed quite well, too, though she didn’t dailyabout it. I was the only person not dressed in a robe; I was as conspicuousas a space suit in a salon. But she gave no sign of noticing.
.The whole thing was very casual ... and yet it seemed as coordinated as aballerina’s muscles. Mike kept busy, sometimes out in front, sometimeswandering among the others-once he squeezed my shoulder and kissedPatty, unhurriedly but quickly. He didn’t speak to me. Back of the spot wherehe stood when he seemed to be leading them was some sort of a dingus likea magic mirror, or possibly a big stereo tank; he used it for .miracles,’ only atthis stage he never used the word-at least not in English. Jubal, every churchpromises miracles. But it’s always jam yesterday and jam tomorrow, neverjam today.“.Exception,“ Jubal interrupted again. .Many of them deliver as a matter ofroutine-exempli gratia among many: Christian Scientists and RomanCatholics.“.Catholics? You mean Lourdes?“.The example included Lourdes, for what it may be worth. But I referred tothe Miracle of Transubstantiation, called forth by every Catholic priest at leastdaily.“.Hmm- Well, I can’t judge that subtle a miracle. To a heathen outsider likemyself that sort of miracle is impossible to test. As for Christian Scientists, Iwon’t argue-but if I break a leg, I want a sawbones.“.Then watch where you put your feet,“ Jubal growled. .Don’t bother mewith your fractures.“.Wouldn’t think of it. I want one who wasn’t a classmate of WilliamHarvey.“.Harvey could reduce a fracture. Proceed.“.Yeah, but how about his classmates? ............