There must have been a curious magic in the words, "My future wife," for no sooner had he pronounced them than Lord Verney became several inches taller, a distinct span broader and quite unreasonably older. In fact, from boyhood he had stepped to man\'s estate. He looked down protectingly at the little woman hanging on his arm. The seriousness of responsibility settled upon his brow.

"Ah! Verney," quoth Mr. Stafford, flicking a hot brow, as he dashed in out of the sunshine, powdered with white dust from his walk and still bubbling with laughter. "Ah, Verney, playing butterfly in the golden hours while other fellows toil in the sweat of their brow! Jingo! lad, but you\'ve lit on the very rose of the garden.—Mistress Kitty Bellairs, I kiss your hand."

At this Mistress Kitty felt her future lord\'s arm press her fingers to his ribs, while he straightened his youthful back.

"Mr. Stafford," began he in solemn tones, "this lady——"

But she, knowing what was coming, interrupted ruthlessly.

"And pray, Mr. Stafford," quoth she, cocking her head at him with those birdlike airs and graces that were as natural to her as to any mincing dove—Mistress Kitty being of those that begin by making eyes in their nurses\' arms, before they can speak, and end in a modish lace nightcap for the benefit of the doctor—"and whence may you come so late, and thus heated?"

"Whence?" cried Mr. Stafford, and overcome by the humour of his recollections, roused the solemn echoes of the Pump Room by his jovial laugh. "Ah, you may well ask! from the merriest meeting it has ever been my fate to attend. Oh, the face of him in his chair, between his gout and his temper! And fire-eating Jasper all for bullets; and old Foulks\' teeth ready to drop out of his head at the indecorousness of it all!—Spicer, man, aha! hold me up.—Oh, madam," cried Mr. Stafford, wiping tears of ecstasy from his eyes and leaning as unceremoniously against Spicer as if the latter\'s lank figure were a pilaster specially intended for his support—"oh, madam, I could make you laugh had I the breath left for it."

"Indeed," cried Mistress Kitty, plunging in again, as it became evident to her that Lord Verney, with the gentle obstinacy that was part of his character, was once more preparing to make his nuptial statement. "Mr. Stafford, please speak then, for in sooth it seems to me a vastly long time since I have laughed."

"Gad! you actually make me curious," put in Mr. Stafford\'s prop.

"Oh dear, oh dear!" sighed Mr. Stafford, in a fresh fit, "ha, ha! By the way, Verney, weren\'t you also to have walked with the jealous husband this morning!—Ah, by the same token, and you too, Spicer? Gad. I\'m glad you didn\'t, for if either of you had put lead in him I\'d have missed the best joke of the season. Gad, I may say so. He, he, aha-ha, ho, ho!"

"Mr. Stafford," said my Lord Verney, as solemn as any owl, while Mistress Kitty, caught by the infection of the genial Stafford\'s mirth, tittered upon his arm, "I have deeper reason than you think of to rejoice that the absurd misunderstanding was cleared up between Sir Jasper and myself. This lady and I——"

"Oh dear, the joke, the joke!" cried Mistress Bellairs, with loud impatience, and stamped her little foot.

"Oh, my fair Bellairs," gasped Mr. Stafford, "had you but been there to share it with me!"

"This lady——" quoth Lord Verney.

"I wish indeed I had been!" cried she. And in very truth she did.

"Mrs. Bellairs," said the determined lover, "has consented to make me the happiest of men."

"Eh?" cried Mr. Stafford, and stopped on the edge of another guffaw.

Mistress Kitty cast down her eyelids. She felt she looked demure and almost bashful, and she hated herself in this character.

Mr. Stafford was one of the thirty-seven lovers of whom the lady had spoken so confidently, and as such was far from realising the solemn meaning of Lord Verney\'s announcement.

"Ah, madam," cried he reproachfully, "is\'t not enough to keep me for ever in Hades, must you needs add to my torture by showing me another in Paradise? But, my little Verney," he went on, turning good-naturedly to his young rival, "it is but fair to warn you that you will be wise to pause before getting yourself measured for your halo: the Paradise of this lady\'s favour is (alack, do I not know it?) of most precarious tenure."

"This lady, sir," said Lord Verney, with rigid lips, "has promised to be my wife."

It was fortunate that Mr. Stafford had a prop: under the shock he staggered. Man of the world as he was, the most guileless astonishment was stamped on his countenance.

Oh, how demure looked Mistress Kitty!

Spicer, a trifle yellow, became effusive in congratulations which were but coldly received by his patron.

"Ah, Kitty," whispered Mr. Stafford in Mistress Bellairs\' shell-like ear, "do you like them so tender-green? Why, my dear, the lad\'s chin is as smooth as your own. What pleasantry is this?"

Kitty scraped her little foot and hung her head. Mistress Kitty coy! And yon poor innocent with his air of proprietorship—\'twas a most humorous spectacle!

"I\'m sure, Verney," cried Mr. Stafford, "I wish you joy, ha, ha! with all my heart! And you madam, he, he!—forgive me, friends—the thought of Sir Jasper\'s duel is still too much for me. Ha, ha! Support me, Spicer."

"She\'ll marry him, she\'ll marry him," cried Spicer with bilious vindictiveness, looking over his shoulder at the couple, as they moved away.

"Marry him!—never she!" cried Stafford. "Kitty\'s no fool. Why, man, the little demon wouldn\'t have me! She loves her liberty and her pleasures too well. Did you not see? She could not look up for fear of showing the devilment in her eye. Cheerily, cheerily, my gallant Captain!" cried the spark, and struck the reedy shoulders that had buttressed him, in contemptuous good-natured valediction. "You need not yet cast about for a new greenhorn to subsist upon."

*****

Mistress Kitty, glancing up at her Calf, found, something t............