Being appointed captain\'s coxswain and valet suited Thompson to a nicety, and it was amusing to see how he adapted himself to his new position, as from a merry wag he suddenly quieted down into a solemn-looking fellow. We hardly need say this was all assumption on his part, but "quiet dignity tinged with a slight shade of melancholy" he considered the correct sort of thing for the role, and no one who saw him recognized the gay and festive youth of old times.
"Promotion\'s ruined Thompson," said the boatswain to Price. "He ain\'t hisself. I shouldn\'t wonder if he goes into a consumption."
"I wish he would," feelingly replied the boatswain\'s mate, "provided the captain would give me a chance to ketch the complaint arter him."
Commander Puffeigh had shipped as his steward a young and aspiring cockney, who entered the service with the full determination of becoming an admiral, but finding his chances in that particular direction rather few, gave up the idea, and devoted his attention to the acquirement of grand words. The doctor was his great fountain-head; and when that gentleman dined with the captain, Mr. Boyldwyte would be on the alert, and listen to every word which fell from the medico\'s lips.
The appointment of Jerry in a double capacity annoyed the steward. He did not mind the sailor attending to his master when on board ship, but to be taken on shore, and regularly installed as captain\'s valet, was rather too much of a good thing. Whenever, therefore, the grave face of Mr. Thompson appeared at his pantry door, the steward forthwith would stand on the offensive. The sailor knew this, and aggravated his opponent accordingly.
The ship had been anchored in Simon\'s Bay about twenty-four hours, and Puffeigh was comfortably quartered on shore, before the coxswain made his appearance on board again. After delivering letters and messages to the first lieutenant, he proceeded to the steward\'s pantry, where he found Mr. Boyldwyte deep in the mystery of plate cleaning, and evidently not in the very best temper.
"Good morning, Mister Biled-up," whispered the sailor.
The steward took up a spoon and leathered away as if quite unconscious of the coxswain\'s presence.
"Mr. Biled right! I begs your pardon," insinuated the mischievous Jerry. "I\'m come from the captain with orders, Mr. B."
"Cuss your Mr. B., you infernal collyoptera!" retorted the now thoroughly-roused flunkey. "My name is Boyldwyte! Yes, sir, Boyld—wyte. I want none of your cheek! Speak to me on duty, sir! Yes, sir!—on duty. I don\'t belong to your class of society." Having thus delivered himself, he stared hard at Thompson, and breathed defiantly, as much as to say, "I\'m ready for you,—come on."
The coxswain-valet smiled, unhooked the half-door, walked into the pantry, and took a seat beside the ferocious one, who immediately turned his back upon him. When his anger had evaporated the steward demanded what the sailor required, and added, "Why didn\'t you tell me when you come in?"
"My dear Mister B., wot with your colly-wotshisnames and other blowings up, I[Pg 45] haven\'t had a chance of getting a word in edgeways. Please don\'t use such teatotal long words; I ain\'t got a pocket jaxionaiary with me, you know."
"Did the captain give you any instructions for my guidance, Mr. Thompson?"
"Yes, Mr. B."
"What was they, Mr. Thompson?"
"Well, he says to me, says he, \'Jerry, that infernal fool of mine—meaning you—ain\'t worth him salt, ses he, and for two pins I\'d sack him and take you in his place.\'"
"The captain made use of that observation, did he, Mr. Thompson?"
"He did, Mister B."
"He were not speaking anamgretically, were he, Mr. Thompson?"
"I dont know what you means by adamgratcolly. Is it one of your French ragouts, Mister B.?"
"No, it ain\'t; I forgot I was talking to a man of no education," replied the steward. "We\'d better drop the subject."
"Come, don\'t be put out, old man; I was only joking—the fact was—now this is truth. The captain says, \'give my regards to Broiled-tight—beg your pardon, Mister Boyldwyte,—and tell him to give you all the little extras we require.\'"
"We! who\'s we, Mr. Thompson?"
Jerry did not notice him, but went on. "We have lots of shirts and other linen, but we want more private brandy and some solder water, as ours is all out."
"Mister Thompson, I won\'t stand by and hear the likes of you, a person in your position in society, say we in eproximation with the name of our noble commander. I wont stand it, sir."
"Then," replied the sailor, "sit down to it, my pretty fellow, and hold your helloquence, or I\'ll call myself Co., there now."
This was a finisher for Mr. Boyldwyte, who thereupon procured the stores, and got rid of his tormentor. When the latter received the packages he asked if "there was anything in the message line for the captain."
The steward did not condescend to reply, so Thompson helped him to a parting shot.
"I say, Mr. B., can\'t you chuck in one of them long words of yours? One on \'em would be enough to give all the fellers ashore the colic," saying which his face resumed its melancholy cast; and waving a farewell to his victim, he went on shore.
There was more meaning in the word we than Thompson cared to explain, as during the day time he fortified himself with sundry nips of the captain\'s private brandy, and after dismissal in the evening would array himself in his master\'s plain clothes, in which he called upon his acquaintances; so the terms We and Co. were correctly used by him when speaking to the steward.
The domestics of the shore establishment in which they were located were coloured persons, the only exception being the housekeeper, an old Irish woman named Maggy, who, although a great admirer of Thompson, was much too aged a party for him to think of. However, in twenty-four hours he had made the acquaintance of every good-looking girl in the place, and in eight-and-forty was head-over-heels in love with a saffron-headed damsel of the heavy Teutonic order of architecture, by name Wallburg Pferdscreptern.
This young lady was the only child of a sturdy German, who dealt in flour, axes, pork, dumb-bells, cheese, ales, coffins, wine, fresh beef, hides, soft-bread, fat-tailed sheep, and other luxuries required by the men-of-war frequenting the place, and as labour was considered honourable in Simon\'s Bay, the fraulein attended to the sale department of her papa\'s store.
Wallburg\'s beauty was without a crease. Her very dimples had long ago given[Pg 46] out, like the seat of a spring chair when the tyings snap; she was one harmonious whole, and nobody for a moment imagined she would ever fall in love. Great was the excitement in the Bay when her mother announced, "tas fraulein Wallburg vas in lofs mit ter matrose Scherry."
Thus it came about: Puffeigh, who possessed most of old Falstaff\'s weaknesses, had, on the day of his arrival, spied out the lovely fraulein, and marked her as his own. Quite taken in with his coxswain\'s quiet manner, he ordered him to carry a note down to her. Jerry did so—went, saw, and fell in love right away. The young lady soon explained matters in her most choice English, and they determined to take advantage of the old man\'s foolishness, and have a good time generally. It was love at first sight on the part of the maiden,—she had never been smitten before; but Cupid had fixed her this time, and in spite of "vater or mutter," she declared she would have her way or perish.
Four or five times a day was the coxswain sent to the German\'s store, where he delivered the billet-doux of the amorous Puffeigh. When he had read those charming epistles to the m?dchen, he would write a suitable reply, and take it back to the delighted old fellow, his master.
"Was she pleased to get my letter?" demanded Puffeigh on one occasion; "did she look delighted?"
"Yes, sir. Ses she, \'Yaw, yaw, tell dem alten narren I loaf him very much.\'"
"What\'s alten narren, my man?"
"It means splendid gentleman, sir, in English."
"You\'re picking up German very fast."
"Yes, sir; it\'s a picking me up, sir. I\'m learning fast, sir; so as to be useful to you, sir."
This quite satisfied Puffeigh, who began to look upon his new coxswain as a treasure, and a very model of circumspection and perfection in his line.
Jerry, on his part, would invent the most astonishing yarns to get sent down to the store. Sometimes it was, "her father was in the last time, and he could not get a chance to speak to her;" at others "her mother was there."
"What is her mother like?" demanded Puffeigh.
"She\'s more fatter and bigger than the young lady," replied Thompson. The captain did not ask further questions.
The coxswain\'s courtship was conducted upon peculiar principles. He knew the fraulein disliked to exert herself, so, upon entering the little parlour at the back of the store where he usually found her calmly reclining in a rocking-chair, he would at once proceed to kiss her in a most vigorous manner. She, not at all disliking his attention, gazed upon him with a calmly-tickled air; and when he was tired would playfully sla............