The day following that upon which Puffeigh left his ship Captain Woodward mustered his crew and made them the following speech:—"My men, I yesterday read my commission and took charge of this ship as your commander. I did not care to address you then; but as I always like to start fairly with my crew, I take this opportunity to do so. I find you are lax in your duty, and that there is a common use of profane language among you which I wish stopped. I may as well tell you that I am in every way averse to flogging. I consider you are men, and that the lash is degrading and brutal. I am determined you shall have your rights, but you must always endeavour to be worthy of them. I wish you to understand that you start fairly with me. I do not know any of your former good or bad behaviour. What a man is to-day is my guide; and those who have been astray have now an opportunity of taking their place, without reproach, with those men who have behaved well. You who are petty officers will, I know, for the sake of your manhood, cease to use those foolish, meaningless oaths and childishly absurd expressions,—cease from this hour, not to please me alone, but out of respect for yourselves. Remember, you have to set an example to your shipmates, and I shall disrate any petty officer who continues to make a fool of himself in that manner. And you able and ordinary seamen, remember you are men, and do not, when addressing each other, use expressions that you would not address to me. Boys, think how much better you are when you speak decently, and how low and degrading you appear in every one\'s eyes when you forget to do so, and bring yourselves to a level with the vilest outcasts. I don\'t expect you will leave off all of a sudden. Don\'t commence by making yourselves ridiculous in attempting the use of fine words, for that would be childish, but try your best to drop so foolish a habit as that of swearing, and when rid of it, never take to it again. Let all remember you have your rights as men, and that no one is justified in abusing you or treating you otherwise than as reasonable beings. Serve your country, and endeavour to do it well, and you will be treated fairly and justly. I don\'t want the cat-of-nine-tails to assist me in keeping order in the ship. You shall have six months to break yourselves of your foolish habit of swearing, and after that time I shall punish all who indulge in it. All I want is promptness and attention to duty on your part, and for you to take pride in yourselves and your beautiful ship. I don\'t wish to curry favour with you,—you will find I am strict in all my ideas, but I think a good deal of a sailor who is honest and true, and who knows if he does his duty he has nothing to fear. Be respectful to your officers, and try to elevate yourselves, remembering there\'s a clear stage and no favour."
This speech was received by the crew with a murmur of applause. Clare, or rather those like him, but more fortunate in having hitherto escaped the lash, rejoiced, as they saw a bright prospect before them, and a chance of getting justice, and all felt delighted when they found their new captain was one of the few officers who did not believe in flogging his men. When they were dismissed after his speech, they sat about the forecastle in groups, and chatted over what he had said.
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"It\'s all very well for him to blarney us over like that, but see if he don\'t have some on us to the gratings afore the six months are up. He ain\'t agoin\' to kid me in that way," observed one of Crushe\'s pets.
"Who asks you to be kidded, as you calls it?" replied a petty officer who had overheard the foregoing speech. "I tell you what it is, if I hears any swearing in my mess from you, or any other idiot, out you goes; so stow it. I don\'t think the captain expects we\'re going to pull long faces, or sing psalms all day; but I for one mean to drop such language, anyhow, and I\'d advise you to do so too."
The boys, who were naturally more impressionable than their seniors, did their best to avoid using bad expressions, and it was most amusing to hear the way they would interrupt themselves when having an altercation with each other. Of course there were some who kept on for a time, but, finding the majority of their shipmates regarded their language as mere idle vapouring, they gradually left it off. The great secret of Captain Woodward\'s success was, that he never himself used an improper expression when addressing his men, or in fact at any other time; he was truly a manly fellow, and before he had been in command six months, any of the Stingers would have gone through fire and water to show their appreciation of his kindness. Those men whom he found unfitted for the positions to which they had been promoted by Crushe he quietly disrated and exchanged into other ships, thus sparing them disgrace before their old shipmates. He went upon the principle that his men were entitled to as much consideration as his officers, never forgetting, however, the respect due to the latter, but rather increasing their individual authority in the eyes of the crew.
Captain Woodward was of middle height, with strongly-knit frame and massive head surrounded by thick curly hair. His eyes were large and piercing, and few men could stand their searching glance. Honest, frank, and affable, he endeavoured to raise to his own level all those with whom he came in contact, but it was delightful to see him put down a bully. No matter how savage the fellow was, he left his presence tamed. The boys would watch his movements and anticipate his orders, quite proud to be able to serve him; and the men found that if they behaved themselves properly, their complaints, when they had any, were attended to; but woe betide the growler or tale-bearer who dared take up the captain\'s time.
One morning, about three bells, the ship being at that time cruising along the coast, in search of any pirate craft which might be "seeking whom it might devour," the captain was chatting with the first lieutenant, when the latter directed the boatswain\'s mate of the watch to go below and lash up his hammock, in order to give him an opportunity of getting his nautical bed on deck at the same time as the rest of the crew. The man, whose name was Blain, and who was commonly known by the sobriquet of Mary or Polly Blain, had not been below many moments before the sensitive ears of the commander were shocked by a string of the most horrid imprecations, evidently proceeding from the mouth of the before-mentioned Blain. Lieutenant Russell was about to order the man upon deck, when the commander desired him to let him be for a moment, and then a rough voice was heard in reply to that of the boatswain\'s mate. Words ran high, and were soon followed by blows, but after they had fought a couple of rounds, the sergeant of marines, who was turned out by the noise, parted them, and ordered both the combatants upon deck.
Mr. Blain was the first to make his appearance up the hatchway, and as he held his nose with one hand, and balanced a hammock upon his shoulder with the other while he came along the deck, he presented such a ludicrous appearance that Captain Woodward could scarce refrain from smiling. Having deposited his bed in the netting, he[Pg 119] walked aft upon the quarter-deck, and stood at attention, but still kept his hand to his nose.
"Why do you apply your hand to the most prominent member of your countenance?" demanded the polite first lieutenant.
"I\'m fraidse my nosh will fall offsh," snuffled the man.
Shortly after this his opponent was marched aft, holding his jaws with both hands, like a person suffering from neuralgia. The sergeant of marines, who was a very smart and effective officer, made them stand as nearly at attention as circumstances permitted, and then reported them to the first lieutenant, who, after a casual glance, remarked, "that never, during the entire course of a varied and somewhat peripatetic career, had it been his destiny to find brought before him individuals so totally deprived of the slightest vestiges of intelligence;" and having thus delivered himself, reported the offenders to his superior officer.
As Captain Paul Woodward imagined neither of the men would like to acknowledge having used the very shocking expressions he had overheard them indulge in during the heat of their argument, he was desirous of hearing the case himself, instead of the preliminary inquiries being made by the first lieutenant, and he anticipated some amusement from the proceeding; as old sailors will invent the most astounding stories in order to explain away their faults. Assuming a severe expression of countenance, the commander advanced to where the men stood; upon which Blain pulled his forelock with one hand, and held his nose with the other, while his opponent cautiously removed his right hand from his jaw, saluted, and then clapped it back in its place, as if fearing to leave it for one moment unsupported.
"What are these men\'s names?"
"Thomas Blain, boatswain\'s mate, and James Spry, quarter-master, reported for fighting upon the lower deck," observed the sergeant with a military salute.
"State your charge, sergeant."
With another flourish, and drawing himself up to his full height, until he looked like a human tower, the soldier stared straight before him, and thus delivered himself:—"At five minutes to three bells I was aroused by the noise of quarrelling and swearing, and turning over in my hammock, beheld Thomas Blain, boatswain\'s mate of the watch on deck, bumping James Spry, quarter-master, who was turned in, in his hammock. James Spry looked over his hammock, and observed to Thomas Blain in anything but elegant or refined language, that he was not a gentleman, and he had never thought much of him, or any member of his family. Upon this Thomas Blain called James Spry all the vulgar titles in his biography, and then James Spry jumped out of his hammock, and struck Thomas Blain, upon which a fight ensued; and I got up, put on my uniform, and took them in custody. At that time Thomas Blain had James Spry upon his back, and was endeavouring to bump his jaws against the shot in the rack, upon which James Spry seized a vinegar breaker, and struck Thomas Blain across the nose, nearly extricating it from his visage."
"Is that all, sergeant?"
The soldier saluted by way of confirmation.
Turning to Blain, the commander asked him what he had to say in defence of this charge. Holding his nose with one hand, and with the other pointed towards his enemy, he snuffled out as follows:
"Your honour, I\'m as innicent as a babe unborn as to them insinuwations of the sergeant\'s; however he ken go to say I swore I keant think. I was ordered to go below by the fust lieutenant to lash up my \'ammick, and I vos a passin\' by that of Chuckle\'s, as[Pg 120] ve allways call Jemmy Spry, ven he looks over the edge ov his \'ammick, and ses he to me, he ses, \'You miserabull old ay-nay-tommy,\' ses he just in that aggrewating tone; \'you old feg-end, you somethink old sneak,\' ses he, \'what are you a skulkin\' below in your watch on deck for?\' Ses I, \'If you please,\' werry civil, yer honour, \'Chuckles, old man, don\'t use sich langwage to a old shipmate, and swearing, too, ven you knows as how the capting don\'t hold with no sich,\' ses I. Vith that he ups and jumps out of his \'ammick; and after having used verds vich my mouth couldn\'t be pelluted to go for to repeat, he calls me a old chiser, and said he\'d be somethinked if he wouldn\'t give me toko for yam, and ups and hits me."
"Did you not abuse him in return, my man?"
"Me, sir? me allow sich language to come from my lips? vy, I\'d die first. I ses to him, gently and mildly, like I\'m speaking now, \'Chuckles,\' ses I, \'I\'m grieved to the heart to hear a first class petty officer agoing on in that ere pellucid manner.\'"
"Then you deny having used improper language?"
"I\'ll take my oath I never said D. once, sir. Well, your honour, he being no hand with his fists, I soon got him down, upon vich he seized the winnegar breaker, and after using some most horrible language, vich made my teeth stand on edge, he hove it across my mug, and cut my nose nearly off."
"Very good, my man. Now let me hear your version, quarter-master."
Mr. Spry spoke somewhat indistinctly, as he persisted in supporting his jaws with both hands, but Captain Woodward made out the following:—"Yer honour, I was a laying in my hammock a sleepin\' like a infant, when all of a sudden I felt a wiolent pain jest here" (here the speaker let go his right jaw, and having indicated the small of his back as the spot where he felt the pain, he took a fresh grip of his chin, and proceeded with his story). "Well, yer honour, the collusion woke me up, and I peeped over the edge of my hammock, where I saw Polly Blain a standin\' on a attitude of defiance and a grinnin\' at me like a Cheshire cat. Ses I, \'Wot\'s that for?\' Ses he, \'You in-fer-nal old dot,\' ses he, \'come out if you are a man.\' Upon which I politely said, \'If you please, Thomas Blain, don\'t be so wery aggrewatin\', or I shall be forced to inform the first lieutenant;\' upon which he up and said, \'The first lieutenant be jiggered, and he didn\'t care a dot for him,\' etceterur. Upon which I closed my ears, not being given to bad language myself."
"Do you mean to say you did not swear, as he asserts?"
"Sir,—Captain Woodward I\'d scorn to tell a lie; and since that ere beautiful speech of yourn I\'ve made a wow never to swear again. No, sir, I\'m reformed—I used to swear a little when the last captain was in the ship, but I\'m a altered man now, sir. Well, sir, I argyfied with him, civil and peaceful, for a few moments, and then he struck me and threw me down, and jammed my jaws agin the shot-rack, knocking out over fifty teeth, vich he forced me to svaller, as he wouldn\'t give me time to gasp. Just as he lifted me for the tenth time to heave me upon the shot-rack, my right hand finger somehow slid inside the handle of the winnegar-breaker, and afore I could prevent him, Thomas Blain run his nose clean up agin the breaker and nearly cut it off; upon which he became furious, and would not listen to reason, so I was obliged to repeat the blow in self-defence, as he swore he\'d murder me if he could only get at me."
"Is that all?"
"Yes, your honour,—that\'s all."
Woodward surveyed the men for some moments, then addressed them as follows:—"My men, I am sorry to see you in this plight, and still more, to hear you spin such yarns. I overheard your quarrel, and was disgusted with your obscenity. You, Blain, used language unbecoming a petty officer, and for that I disrate you to be an able [Pg 121]seaman. You, Spry, who are old enough to know better, I also disrate; and as I do not consider either of you fit to associate with the decent men of my crew, I direct you shall leave your messes, and be messed togeth............