I STOOD IN THE CENTER of the huge room. A hundred pairs of eyes were on me.

In a group of lounging knights, I spotted Norcross, the duke's military man, his chatelain. I eyed him tremulously, though he did not look my way. Every sense told me this was the man who had killed my son.

You have all no doubt heard the tale of the cow from Amiens, I crowed.

People looked at one another and shook their heads. We have not, someone yelled out.Tell us ,jester.

These two peasants had a single denier between them. So to enlarge their fortune, they decided to buy a cow, and every day they would sell its milk. Now, as everyone knows, the best cows in the land come from Amiens.

So they went there, and they traded the denier for the best cow they could find, who yielded lots of milk. And they sold the milk each morning. Soon, one of them said, `If we can mate this fine cow, we'll have two. We can double our milk and our money.' So they searched their village and found the finest bull. Soon, they were going to be rich.

I scanned the room. Everyone seemed to hang on my words. A hundred smiles... knights, ladies-in-waiting, even the duke himself. I had them. I had their ears.

The day of the mating, they brought in the bull. First, he tried to mount the cow from behind, but the cow wiggled away. Then, the bull came at her from the left, but the cow wiggled its rump to the right. If it came from the right, the cow wiggled left.

I spotted an attractive lady and went up to her. I smiled and wiggled my own rump. Just enough to be considered cute. The crowdoohed with delight.

Finally, I said, the peasants threw up their hands in frustration. There was no way this cow from Amiens would mate. But instead of giving up, they decided to consult the smartest person in the duchy. A knight of such rare wisdom, such vision, he knew why all things were as they were.

I noticed Norcross reclining on his............