(The Marquis de la Mise-en-Scène is discovered writing at a little inlaid table. He is about 42 years of age, and looks worse than that. He believes himself to be alone in the room, when he is somewhat suddenly addressed from the open door by the Duchess de la Tour-de-Force, who has just entered. She is a woman of about 55, somewhat too commanding. The place is Versailles, and the time is 1753.)

The Duchess de la Tour-de-Force. What are you doing, Monsieur de la Mise-en-Scène?

The Marquis de la Mise-en-Scène (continuing to write and without turning round). I am writing, Duchess, as you can plainly see.

Duchess. Unfortunately I cannot see through your body, but I see you are seated at a table, and from the constrained attitude of your elbow and the awkward wagging of your head I can well believe that you are occupied as you say.

The Marquis (without turning round). Come, Duchess, would you have me jump up like a bourgeois? Shall I ask after your health, which I know[Pg 213] to be robust, or murmur something polite about your niece? Shall I come and hold the door for you, or do any of those things to which you are used in provincial hotels? Or shall I go on writing? (He goes on writing.) (A pause.) (The Duchess walks into the room, shuts the door rather noisily, and sits down upon a chair. She sighs.)

The Marquis (still writing, murmuring to himself). "Indifferent"! Tut, tut, how does one spell "indifferent"? "You cannot be indifferent to my plea" ... "plea." ... I know how to spell "plea," but how does one spell "indifferent"? (Turning round for the first time to the Duchess and showing a set, half-ironical face, with thin lips and steady grey eyes.) Duchess, how do you spell "indifferent"?

Duchess (carelessly). Oh, I spell it sometimes one way, sometimes another. But I believe there are two f's.

Marquis (turning again to his letters). "Indifferent" (with two f's) "to my plea...." (He leans back and looks at the paper with his head on one side as though he were examining a picture.) It looks all right, Duchess. I always go by that, though I think it is easier to tell whether a bit of spelling is right if you can see it in print.

Duchess (gravely). I thoroughly agree with you, Marquis de la Mise-en-Scène. (A pause during which the scratching of the quill continues.) I do not think she will mind about the spelling; but if I know [Pg 214]anything of her sex she will not read the end of the letter if you make it too long.

Marquis (still writing away busily). Yes, she will, for it is full of business.

Duchess (with some interest in her voice). Why? What kind of business?

Marquis. I'm writing a proposal of marriage, Madam.

Duchess (really startled). Good heavens, Monsieur de la Mise-en-Scène! I always thought you were married!

Marquis (continuing to write). Madame de la Tour-de-Force, that is the malicious sort of thing people say at Versailles about provincials. (He continues to write.)

Duchess. I don't care how much business you put into it; if you make it as long as that she won't read to the end.

Marquis. Oh, yes, she will. The letter isn't very long, but I'm writing it out several times.

Duchess. Really! Your cynicism! And suppose the various ladies meet, or suppose two of them accept you at once! What then?

Marquis (getting up quickly). I never thought of that! (He puts his left hand on to the hilt of his sword, puts his right hand to his chin, and thoughtfully paces up and down the room.) Yes, Duchess, that would be very awkward. In fact (going to the window and looking out)—in fact, now that you have suggested it ... of course I might write to the second and [Pg 215]say I already had an engagement ... but I think I shall drive tandem and not send off the second letter until I have received an answer to the first; nor the third until I have received an answer to the second, and so forth.... On the other hand, I'm glad I've got the work done, because the business part at the end is very complicated.

Duchess (as though to make conversation). Have you ever written a proposal of marriage before, Monsieur de la Mise-en-Scène?

Marquis. No, Duchess, I have not; and, what is more curious, no lady has ever shown me one. But I have a book in which various forms of letters are set down to be used upon different occasions in life. I have taken all the first part of this letter of mine from this book. The long part at the end which is all about business I got out of a letter from my solicitor.

Duchess (quietly, as she folds her hands upon her lap). If you will take my advice, Marquis, you will not put in so much business upon the very first occasion. I should have asked—Have you actually met any of these ladies?

Marquis (stoutly). Yes, all of them, and one of them three or four times. Tell me, Duchess, since you know something of the world, in what form is a declaration most pleasing?

Duchess (serenely). By word of mou............