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HOME > Classical Novels > The Fever of Life > CHAPTER XXXV. EXPIATION.
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CHAPTER XXXV. EXPIATION.
 What fools are they who think God ever sleeps, Or views their with a careless eye.
Fortune may heap her favours on their heads.
Pleasure them with her bells,
And life for them be one long ;
But in their triumph of prosperity,
When all the smiling future seems ,
God; frowning, stretches out His arm,
And lo! the hungry grave at their feet.
 
 
So Mrs. Belswin was delivered from her great , and was taken home by Kaituna and her lover with great rejoicing. Maxwell, indeed, after hearing the story of this woman, had hesitated for a moment as to whether he ought to let her be with her daughter, seeing that she had her rights by her own act, but when he hinted this to Kaituna she him with one sentence--
 
"She is my mother."
 
So Maxwell held his peace, and after Mrs. Belswin had been released from her position of ignominy and shame, he had escorted both mother and daughter to their . There he left them, and at Mrs. Belswin's request, went to seek for Belk, and bring him there to receive the thanks of the woman he had saved. Having departed on his errand, Kaituna sat down beside her mother, in order to hear from her own lips the story of her sad life.
 
With many , Mrs. Belswin told the whole pitiful story of her sin, which had brought her to such a bitter , and, when she had ended, fell weeping at the feet of the daughter she feared now would despise her. Ah! she little knew the tenderness which the girl had cherished for her mother, and which she cherished for her even now, when the dead saint had changed into the living sinner. Pitifully--tenderly she raised her mother from her position of sorrow, and kissed away the bitter tears of shame and agony that fell down the hollow cheeks.
 
"Mother!" she said, clasping her arms round the poor woman's breast, "if you have sinned, you have also suffered. The one false step you made has brought its own punishment; but why did you not tell me all this before, and so have saved yourself this bitter agony?"
 
"Tell you before?" said her mother, sadly. "Child! child! what good would such a have done? You could not have helped me."
 
"No, dearest; but I could have loved you. I could have made your life less hard. Oh, mother! poor mother, how you must have suffered when I treated you as a stranger."
 
"I did suffer," replied Mrs. Belswin, in a low tone, "but not so much as you think, for even then you treated me more like a mother than as a companion."
 
"And I was the little child of whom you ?"
 
"Yes, dear."
 
"Oh, blind! blind! how could I have been so blind as not to guess your secret. You betrayed yourself in a hundred ways, my poor mother, but I never saw it. But now--now that I know the truth, I see how blind I have been."
 
"Ah, Kaituna, if I had only known you would have received me like this, but I feared to tell you of my shame lest you should turn from me in scorn."
 
"! dear mother, hush!"
 
"And it was terrible to think that the little child I had borne at my breast should me."
 
"Mother!"
 
"Oh, my sin! my sin!" Mrs. Belswin, rocking herself to and fro, "how it has cursed my life--how it has turned the earth into a hell of repentance."
 
"Do not say another word, mother," cried Kaituna, wiping the tears from her mother's eyes; "the past is dead, we will speak of it no more; but the future----"
 
"Ah, my child, the future for you is bright; you will marry your lover, and have him by your side during the rest of your life, but I--Child, I must leave you."
 
"Leave me?"
 
"Yes! you know what I am! You know my sin, my , my shame! I cannot look into your clear eyes, my child, for I have lost the right to be your mother. No, Kaituna, while you did not know me, and believed your mother to be a pure good woman, I stayed beside you, to love you and hear you talk of me as I once was; but now--now--ah, no! no! I dare not remain in your presence, I dare not kiss you, for my kisses would pollute your lips. I will go away--far away, and my sin!"
 
"But, mother, you will not leave me?"
 
"It is for your good, child--it is for your good!"
 
"You shall not leave me!" said Kaituna, her arms round the elder woman's neck. "You have suffered enough for your sin, and for the rest of your days I will help you to forget the past. Archie thinks the same as I do. Come, mother, you will not leave me; promise to stay beside me for ever."
 
"I cannot promise," cried Mrs. Belswin, breaking away from the tender bonds that held her; "oh! what a I am. When you did not know me I wished to stay. Now you know I am your wretched, guilty mother, I wish to fly. I must go! I must! Seek not to detain me, child. As ye sow so shall ye reap! The Bible, Kaituna! the Bible--let me go to my harvest."
 
Mrs. Belswin, with her nature maddened by the mental agonies she had undergone, had worked herself up into one of those uncontrollable fits of passion which made her so dangerous. She had found her child, and now she was going to leave her of her own free-will, because she could not bear to live with her own daughter, who knew how she was. With a cry of agony, unable to bear any more implorings from Kaituna, she flew to the door in order to escape; but her daughter, who was not to let the poor distraught creature go, perhaps to her death, sprang after her, and her away, flung herself back against the door with outstretched arms.
 
"No! no!" she cried, panting with excitement, "that way lies death. Oh, mother! mother! I know what you would do; but do not leave me. If you have any pity in your heart for the child you bore let me keep you ever at my side. Where would you go out into the darkness of London?--to the terrible stormy streets--to the river--ah! the river! is that what you think? No! no! mother! my own dear mother, you must not let me mourn your death twice."
 
The evening sun was shining through the windows, the furniture, the draperies, the mirrors, with soft gleams of light; and Kaituna, with her head thrown back, and her arms outstretched, stood against the door, while Mrs. Belswin, with a sudden cessation of her mad , stared vacantly at her daughter, and round the room.
 
Ah! what was that gleaming in the sunlight from behind a heavy purple curtain--steel--the barrel of a pistol; and it was full at Kaituna, With a of rage Mrs. Belswin, guessing the truth, sprang in front of her daughter to shield her from harm, and in another moment had fallen in a heap at the feet of the child she loved. There was no sound of a report, and Kaituna in a state of , fell on her knees beside her mother. As she did so a man ran from behind the curtain, and wrenching open the door flung down a pistol and spoke rapidly--
 
"I wanted to kill you!" he said, with a , "to punish her; but she came between you and the pistol, so let her die as she deserves to, with my curses on her."
 
With a shriek Kaituna recognised him. It was Dombrain, and she sprang to her feet to seize him; but her grasp he ran out of the door and down the stairs into the street. Kaituna could not follow him, as her limbs under her; but she managed to drag herself back to her mother--the mother, , who was dying.
 
The red blood w............
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