“You may save yourself the trouble. I have watched the whole progress of this amour up to the moment when you gave them the advantage of your paternal3 wisdom, and made them both miserable4.”
“It is very unreasonable5 of them, to be miserable.”
“Oh, lovers parted could never yet make themselves happy with reason.”
“But why do you say parted? All I said was, 'No engagement till you can make a settlement: and don't compromise her in the meanwhile.' I did not mean to interdict6 occasional visits.”
“Then why not say so? That is so like people. You made your unfavorable stipulation7 plain enough; but the little bit of comfort, you left that in doubt. This comes of not putting yourself in his place. I have had a talk with him about it, and he thinks he is not to show his face here till he is rich enough to purchase your daughter of you.”
“But I tell you he has misunderstood me.”
“Then write to him and say so.”
“No, no; you take an opportunity to let him know he has really rather overrated my severity, and that I trust to his honor, and do not object to a visit—say once a week.”
“It is a commission I will undertake with pleasure.”
“And do you really think that will do her bodily health any good?”
Before Doctor Amboyne could reply, the piano was suddenly touched in the next room, and a sweet voice began to sing a cheerful melody. “Hush!” said Doctor Amboyne. “Surely I know that tune8. Yes, I have heard THE OTHER whistle it.”
“She has not sung for ever so long,” remarked Mr. Carden.
“And I think I can tell you why she is singing now: look at this picture of Hope; I just told her I had a male patient afflicted9 with her complaint, and the quick-witted creature asked me directly if I thought this picture would do him any good. I said yes, and I'd take it to him.”
“Come, doctor, that couldn't make her SING.”
“Why not? Heart can speak to heart, even by a flower or a picture. The separation was complete; sending this symbol has broken it a little, and so she is singing. This is a lesson for us ruder and less subtle spirits. Now mind, thwarted10 love seldom kills a busy man; but it often kills an idle woman, and your daughter is an idle woman. He is an iron pot, she is a china vase. Please don't hit them too hard with the hammer of paternal wisdom, or you will dent11 my iron pot, and break your china vase to atoms.”
Having administered this warning, Dr. Amboyne went straight from Woodbine Villa12 to Little's factory; but Little was still in London; he had gone there to take out patents. Bayne promised to send the doctor a line immediately on his return. Nevertheless, a fortnight elapsed, and then Dr. Amboyne received a short, mysterious line to tell him Mr. Little had come home, and would be all the better of a visit. On receipt of this the doctor went at once to the works, and found young Little lying on his carpenter's bench in a sort of gloomy apathy13. “Hallo!” said the doctor, in his cheerful way, “why what's the matter now?”
“I'm fairly crushed,” groaned14 the inventor.
“And what has crushed you?”
“The roundabout swindle.”
“There, now, he invents words as well as things. Come, tell me all about the roundabout swindle.”
“No, no; I haven't the heart left to go through it all again, even in words. One would think an inventor was the enemy of the human race. Yes, I will tell you; the sight of you has revived me a bit; it always does. Well, then, you know I am driven to invention now; it is my only chance; and, ever since Mr. Carden spoke15 to me, I have given my whole soul to the best way of saw-grinding by machinery16. The circular saws beat me for a while, but I mastered them; see, there's the model. I'm going to burn it this very afternoon. Well, a month ago, I took the other model—the long-saw grinder—up to London, to patent the invention, as you advised me. I thought I'd just have to exhibit the model, and lodge17 the description in some Government office, and pay a fee, of course, to some swell18, and so be quit of it. Lord bless you—first I had to lay the specification19 before the Court of Chancery, and write a petition to the Queen, and pay, and, what is worse, wait. When I had paid and waited, I got my petition signed, not by the Queen, but by some go-between, and then I must take it to the Attorney-general. He made me pay—and wait. When I had waited ever so long, I was sent back to where I had come from—the Home Office. But even then I could not get to the Queen. Another of her go-betweens nailed me, and made me pay, and wait: these locusts20 steal your time as well as your money. At last, a copy of a copy of a copy of my patent got to the Queen, and she signed it like a lady at once, and I got it back. Then I thought I was all right. Not a bit of it: the Queen's signature wasn't good till another of her go-betweens had signed it. I think it was the Home Secretary this time. This go-between bled me again, and sent me with my hard-earned signatures to the Patent Office. There they drafted, and copied, and docketed, and robbed me of more time and money. And, when all was done, I had to take the document back to one of the old go-betweens that I hoped I had worn out, the Attorney-general. He signed, and bled me out of some more money. From him to the other go-betweens at Whitehall. From them to the Stamp Office, if I remember right, and oh Lord, didn't I fall among leeches21 there? They drafted, they copied, they engrossed23, they juggled24 me out of time and money without end. The first leech22 was called the Lord Keeper of the Seal; the second leech was called the Lord
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