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Chapter 10 The Dolphin

She would not let go the child, she would not give the child to them. They were all men aboard the ship. Only after a long time did she begin to be able to take into her mind what they said, what had been done, what was happening. When she understood who the young man was, the one she had thought was her son, it seemed as if she had understood it all along, only she had not been able to think it. She had not been able to think anything.
 He had come back onto the ship from the docks and now stood talking to a grey-haired man, the ship's master by the look of him, near the gangplank. He glanced over at Tenar, whom they had let stay crouching with Therru in a corner of the deck between the railing and a great windlass. The long day's weariness had won out over Therru's fear; she was fast asleep, close against Tenar, with her little pack for a pillow and her cloak for a blanket.
 Tenar got up slowly, and the young man came to her at once. She straightened her skirts and tried to smooth her hair back. "I am Tenar of Atuan," she said. He stood still. She said, "I think you are the king."
 He was very young, younger than her son, Spark. He could hardly be twenty yet. But there was a look to him that was not young at all, something in his eyes that made her think: He has been through the fire.
 "My name is Lebannen of Enlad, my lady," he said, and he was about to bow or even kneel to her. She caught his hands so that they stood there face to face. "Not to me, she said, "nor I to you!"
 He laughed in surprise, and held her hands while he stared at her frankly. "How did you know I sought you? Were you coming to me, when that man-?"
 "No, no. I was running away-from him-from-from ruffians- I was trying to go home, that's all."
 "To Atuan?"
 "Oh, no! To my farm. In Middle Valley. On Gont, here." She laughed too, a laugh with tears in it. The tears could be wept now, and would be wept. She let go the king's hands so that she could wipe her eyes.
 "Where is it, Middle Valley?" he asked. "South and east, around the headlands there. Valmouth is the port.
 "We'll take you there," he said, with delight in being able to offer it, to do it.
 She smiled and wiped her eyes, nodding acceptance. "A glass of wine. Some food, some rest," he said, "and a bed for your child." The ship's master, listening discreetly, gave orders. The bald sailor she remembered from what seemed a long time ago came forward. He was going to pick up Therru. Tenar stood between him and the child. She could not let him touch her. "I'll carry her," she said, her voice strained high.
 "There's the stairs there, miss's. I'll do it," said the sailor, and she knew he was kind, but she could not let him touch Therru.
 "Let me," the young man, the king, said, and with a glance at her for permission, he knelt, gathered up the sleeping child, and carried her to the hatchway and care-fully down the ladder-stairs. Tenar followed.
 He laid her on a bunk in a tiny cabin, awkwardly, tenderly. He tucked the cloak around her. Tenar let him do so.
 In a larger cabin that ran across the stern of the ship, with a long window looking out over the twilit bay, he asked her to sit at the oaken table. He took a tray from the sailor boy that brought it, poured out red wine in goblets of heavy glass, offered her fruit and cakes.
 She tasted the wine.
 "It's very good, but not the Dragon Year," she said.
 He looked at her in unguarded surprise, like any boy.
 "From Enlad, not the Andrades," he said meekly.
 "It's very fine," she assured him, drinking again. She took a cake. It was shortbread, very rich, not sweet. The green and amber grapes were sweet and tart. The vivid tastes of the food and wine were like the ropes that moored the ship, they moored her to the world, to her mind again.
 "I was very frightened," she said by way of apology. "I think I'll be myself again soon. Yesterday-no, today, this morning-there was a-a spell-" It was almost impossible to say the word, she stammered at it: "A c-curse-laid on me. It took my speech, and my wits, I think. And we ran from that, but we ran right to the man, the man who-" She looked up despairingly at the young man listening to her. His grave eyes let her say what must be said. "He was one of the people who crippled the child. He and her parents. They raped her and beat her and burned her; these things happen, my lord. These things happen to children. And he keeps following her, to get at her. And-"
 She stopped herself, and drank wine, making herself taste its flavor.
 "And so from him I ran to you. To the haven." She looked about at the low, carved beams of the cabin, the polished table, the silver tray, the thin, quiet face of the young man. His hair was dark and soft, his skin a clear bronze-red; he was dressed well and plainly, with no chain or ring or outward mark of authority. But he looked the way a king should look, she thought.
 "I'm sorry I let the man go," he said. "But he can be found again. Who was it laid the spell on you?"
 "A wizard." She would not say the name. She did not want to think about all that. She wanted them all behind her. No retribution, no pursuit. Leave them to their hatreds, put them behind her, forget.
 Lebannen did not press, but he asked, "Will you be safe from these men on your farm?"
 "I think so. If I hadn't been so tired, so confused by the-by the-so confused in my mind, so that I couldn't think, I wouldn't have been afraid of Handy. What could he have done? With all the people about, in the street? I shouldn't have run from him. But all I could feel was her fear. She's so little, all she can do is fear him. She'll have to learn not to fear him. I have to teach her that ..." She was wandering. Thoughts came into her head in Kargish. Had she been talking in Kargish? He would think she was mad, an old mad woman babbling. She glanced up at him furtively. His dark eyes were not on her; he gazed at the flame of the glass lamp that hung low over the table, a little, still, clear flame. His face was too sad for a young man's face.
 "You came to find him," she said. "The archmage. Sparrowhawk."
 "Ged," he said, looking at her with a faint smile. "You, and he, and I go by our true names.
 "You and I, yes. But he, only to you and me."
 He nodded.
 "He's in danger from envious men, men of ill will, and he has no-no defense, now. You know that?"
 She could not bring herself to be plainer, but Lebannen said, "He told me that his power as a mage was gone. Spent in the act that saved me, and all of us. But it was hard to believe. I wanted not to believe him."'
 "I too, But it is so. And so he-" Again she hesitated. "He wants to be alone until his hurts are healed," she said at last, cautiously.
 Lebannen said, "He and I were in the dark land, the dry land, together. We died together. Together we crossed the mountains there. You can come back across the mountains. There is a way. He knew it. But the name of the mountains is Pain. The stones . . . The stones cut, and the cuts are long to heal."
 He looked down at his hands. She thought of Ged's hands, scored and gashed, clenched on their wounds. Holding the cuts close, closed.
 Her own hand closed on the small stone in her pocket, the word she had picked up on the steep road.
 "Why does he hide from me?'" the young man cried in grief. Then, quietly, "I hoped indeed to see him. But if he doesn't wish it, that's the end of it, of course." She recognized the courtliness, the civility, the dignity of the messengers from Havnor, and appreciated it; she knew its worth. But she loved him for his grief.
 "Surely he'll come to you. Only give him time. He was so badly hurt-everything taken from him- But when he spoke of you, when he said your name, oh, then I saw him for a moment as he was-as he will be again- All pride!'"
 "Pride?"' Lebannen repeated, as if startled.
 "Yes. Of course, pride. Who should be proud, if not he?"
 "I always thought of him as- He was so patient," Lebannen said, and then laughed at the inadequacy of his description.
 "Now he has no patience," she said, "and is hard on himself beyond all reason. There's nothing we can do for him, I think, except let him go his own way and find himself at the end of his tether, as they say on Gont    All at once she was at the end of her own tether, so weary she felt ill. "I think I must rest now,"" she said.
 He rose at once. "Lady Tenar, you say you fled from one enemy and found another; but I came seeking a friend, and found another.' " She smiled at his wit and kindness. What a nice boy he is, she thought.

The ship was all astir when she woke: creaking and groaning of timbers, thud of running feet overhead, rattle of canvas, sailors' shouts. Therru was hard to waken and woke dull, perhaps feverish, though she was always so warm that Tenar found it hard to judge her fevers. Remorseful for having dragged the fragile child fifteen miles on foot and for all that had happened yesterday, Tenar tried to cheer her by telling her that they were in a ship, and that there was a real king on the ship, and that the little room they were in was the king's own room; that the ship was taking them home, to the farm, and Aunty Lark would be waiting for them at home, and maybe Sparrowhawk would be there too. Not even that roused Therru's interest. She was blank, inert, mute.
 On her small, thin arm Tenar saw a mark-four fingers, red, like a brand, as from a bruising grip. But Handy had not gripped her, he had only touched her. Tenar had told her, had promised her that he would never touch her again. The promise had been broken. Her word meant nothing. What word meant anything, against deaf violence?
 She bent down and kissed the marks on Therru's arm.
 "I wish I'd had time to finish your red dress," she said. "The king would probably like to see it. But then, I suppose people don't wear their best clothes on a ship, even kings."
 Therru sat on the bunk, her head bent down, and did not answer. Tenar brushed her hair. It was growing out thick at last, a silky black curtain over the burned parts of the scalp. "Are you hungry, birdlet? You didn't have any supper last night. Maybe the king will give us breakfast. He gave me cakes and grapes last night."
 No response.
 When Tenar said it was time to leave the room, she obeyed. Up on deck she stood with her head bent to her shoulder. She did not look up at the white sails full of the morning wind, nor at the sparkling water, nor back at Gont Mountain rearing its bulk and majesty of forest, cliff, and peak into the sky. She did not look up when Lebannen spoke to her.
 "Therru," Tenar said softly, kneeling by her, "when a king speaks to you, you answer.
 She was silent.
 The expression of Lebannen's face as he looked at her was unreadable. A mask perhaps, a civil mask for revulsion, shock. But his dark eyes were steady. He touched the child's arm very lightly, saying, "It must be strange for you, to wake up in the middle of the sea."
 She would eat only a little fruit. When Tenar asked her if she wanted to go back to the cabin, she nodded. Reluctant, Tenar left her curled up in the bunk and went back up on deck.
 The ship was passing between the Armed Cliffs, towering grim walls that seemed to lean above the sails. Bowmen on guard in little forts like mud-swallows' nests high on the cliffs looked down at them on deck, and the sailors yelled cheerfully up at them. "Way for the king!"' they shouted, and the reply came down not much louder than the calling of swallows from the heights, "The king!"
 Lebannen stood at the high prow with the ship's master and an elderly, lean, narrow-eyed man in the grey cloak of a mage of Roke Island. Ged had worn such a cloak, a clean, fine one, on the day he and she brought the Ring of ErrethAkbe to the Tower of the Sword; an old one, stained and dirty and travelworn, had been all his blanket on the cold stone of the Tombs of Atuan, and on the dirt of the desert mountains when they had crossed those mountains together. She was thinking of that as the foam flew by the ship's sides and the high cliffs fell away behind.
 When the ship was out past the last reefs and had begun to swing eastward, the three men came to her. Lebannen said, "My lady, this is the Master Windkey of Roke Island."
 The mage bowed, looking at her with praise in his keen eyes, and curiosity also; a man who liked to know which way the wind blew, she thought.
 "Now I needn"t hope the fair weather will hold, but can count on it,'" she said to him.
 "I'm only cargo on a day like this,'" said the mage. "Besides, with a sailor like Master Serrathen handling the ship, who needs a weatherworker?"
 We are so polite, she thought, all Ladies and Lords and Masters, all bows and compliments. She glanced at the young king. He was looking at her, smiling but reserved.
 She felt as she had felt in Havnor as a girl: a barbarian, uncouth among their smoothnesses. But because she was not a girl now, she was not awed, but only wondered at how men ordered their world into this dance of masks, and how easily a woman might learn to dance it.
   It would take them only the day, they told her, to sail to Valmouth. They would make port there by late afternoon, with this fair wind in the sails.
   Still very weary from the long distress and strain of the day before, she was content to sit in the seat the bald sailor contrived for her out of a straw mattress and a piece of sailcloth, and watch the waves and the gulls, and see the outline of Gont Mountain, blue and dreamy in the noon light, changing as they skirted its steep shores only a mile or two out from land. She brought Therru up to be in the sunshine, and the child lay beside her, watching and dozing.
   A sailor, a very dark man, toothless, came on bare feet with soles like hooves and hideously gnarled toes, and put something down on the canvas near Therru. "For the little girl,"' he said hoarsely, and went off at once, though not far off. He looked around hopefully now and then from his work to see if she liked his gift and then pretended he had not looked around. Therru would not touch the little cloth-wrapped packet. Tenar had to open it. It was an exquisite carving of a dolphin, in bone or ivory, the length of her thumb.
   "It can live in your grass bag," Tenar said, "with the others, the bone people."
 At that Therru came to life enough to fetch out her grass bag and put the dolphin in it. But Tenar had to go thank the humble giver. Therru would not look at him or speak. After a while she asked to go back to the cabin, and Tenar left her there w............

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