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Chapter 14 Epilogue of the Cigar Divan

On a certain day of lashing rain in the December of last year, and between the hours of nine and ten in the morning, Mr. Edward Challoner pioneered himself under an umbrella to the door of the Cigar Divan in Rupert Street. It was a place he had visited but once before: the memory of what had followed on that visit and the fear of Somerset having prevented his return. Even now, he looked in before he entered; but the shop was free of customers.

The young man behind the counter was so intently writing in a penny version-book, that he paid no heed to Challoner’s arrival. On a second glance, it seemed to the latter that he recognised him.

‘By Jove,’ he thought, ‘unquestionably Somerset!’

And though this was the very man he had been so sedulously careful to avoid, his unexplained position at the receipt of custom changed distaste to curiosity.

‘“Or opulent rotunda strike the sky,”’ said the shopman to himself, in the tone of one considering a verse. ‘I suppose it would be too much to say “orotunda,” and yet how noble it were! “Or opulent orotunda strike the sky.” But that is the bitterness of arts; you see a good effect, and some nonsense about sense continually intervenes.’

‘Somerset, my dear fellow,’ said Challoner, ‘is this a masquerade?’

‘What? Challoner!’ cried the shopman. ‘I am delighted to see you. One moment, till I finish the octave of my sonnet: only the octave.’ And with a friendly waggle of the hand, he once more buried himself in the commerce of the Muses. ‘I say,’ he said presently, looking up, ‘you seem in wonderful preservation: how about the hundred pounds?’

‘I have made a small inheritance from a great aunt in Wales,’ replied Challoner modestly.

‘Ah,’ said Somerset, ‘I very much doubt the legitimacy of inheritance. The State, in my view, should collar it. I am now going through a stage of socialism and poetry,’ he added apologetically, as one who spoke of a course of medicinal waters.

‘And are you really the person of the — establishment?’ inquired Challoner, deftly evading the word ‘shop.’

‘A vendor, sir, a vendor,’ returned the other, pocketing his poesy. ‘I help old Happy and Glorious. Can I offer you a weed?’

‘Well, I scarcely like . . . ‘ began Challoner.

‘Nonsense, my dear fellow,’ cried the shopman. ‘We are very proud of the business; and the old man, let me inform you, besides being the most egregious of created beings from the point of view of ethics, is literally sprung from the loins of kings. “De Godall je suis le fervent.” There is only one Godall.— By the way,’ he added, as Challoner lit his cigar, ‘how did you get on with the detective trade?’

‘I did not try,’ said Challoner curtly.

‘Ah, well, I did,’ returned Somerset, ‘and made the most incomparable mess of it: lost all my money and fairly covered myself with odium and ridicule. There is more in that business, Challoner, than meets the eye; there is more, in fact, in all businesses. You must believe in them, or get up the belief that you believe. Hence,’ he added, ‘the recognised inferiority of the plumber, for no one could believe in plumbing.’

‘A propos,’ asked Challoner, ‘do you still paint?’

‘Not now,’ replied Paul; ‘but I think of taking up the violin.’

Challoner’s eye, which had been somewhat restless since the trade of the detective had been named, now rested for a moment on the columns of the morning paper, where it lay spread upon the counter.

‘By Jove,’ he cried, ‘that’s odd!’

‘What is odd?’ asked Paul.

‘Oh, nothing,’ returned the other: ‘only I once met a person called M’Guire.’

‘So did I!’ cried Somerset. ‘Is there anything about him?’

Challoner read as follows: ‘MYSTERIOUS DEATH IN STEPNEY. An inquest was held yesterday on the body of Patrick M’Guire, described as a carpenter. Doctor Dovering stated that he had for some time treated the deceased as a dispensary patient, for sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and nervous depression. There was no cause of death to be found. He would say the deceased had sunk. Deceased was not a temperate man, which doubtless accelerated death. Deceased complained of dumb ague, but witness had never been able to detect any positive disease. He did not know that he had any family. He regarded him as a person of unsound intellect, who believed himself a member and the victim of some secret society. If he were to hazard an opinion, he would say deceased had died of fear.’

‘And the doctor would be right,’ cried Somerset; ‘and my dear Challoner, I am so relieved to hear of his demise, that I will — Well, after all,’ he added, ‘poor devil, he was well served.’

The door at this moment opened, and Desborough appeared upon the threshold. He was wrapped in a long waterproof, imperfectly supplied with buttons; his boots were full of water, his hat greasy with service; and yet he wore the air of one exceeding well content with life. He was hailed by the two others with exclamations of surprise and welcome.

‘And did you try the detective business?’ inquired Paul.

‘No,’ returned Harry. ‘Oh yes, by the way, I did though: twice, and got caught out both times. But I thought I should find my — my wife here?’ he added, with a kind of proud confusion.

‘What? are you married?’ cried Somerset.

‘Oh yes,’ said Harry, ‘quite a long time: a month at least.’

‘Money?’ asked Challoner.

‘That’s the worst of it,’ Desborough admitted. ‘We are deadly hard up. But the Pri —- Mr. Godall is going to do something for us. That is what brings us here.’

‘Who was Mrs. Desborough?’ said Challoner, in the tone of a man of society.

‘She was a Miss Luxmore,’ returned Harry. ‘You fellows will be sure to like her, for she is much cleverer than I. She tells wonderful stories, too; better than a book.’

And just then the door opened, and Mrs. Desborough entered. Somerset cried out aloud to recognise the young lady of the Superfluous Mansion, and Challoner fell back a step and dropped his cigar as he beheld the sorceress of Chelsea.

‘What!’ cried Harry, ‘do you both know my wife?’

‘I believe I have seen her,’ said Somerset, a little wildly.

‘I think I have met the gentleman,’ said Mrs. Desborough sweetly; ‘but I cannot imagine where it was.’

‘Oh no,’ cried Somerset fervently: ‘I have no notion — I cannot conceive — where it could have been. Indeed,’ he continued, growing in emphasis, ‘I think it highly probable that it’s a mistake.’

‘And you, Challoner?’ asked Harry, ‘you seemed to recognise her too.’

‘These are both friends of yours, Harry?’ said the lady. ‘Delighted, I am sure. I do not remember to have met Mr. Challoner.’

Challoner was very red in the face, perhaps from having groped after his cigar. ‘I do not remember to have had the pleasure,’ he responded huskily.

‘Well, and Mr. Godall?’ asked Mrs. Desborough.

‘Are you the lady that has an appointment with old —’ began Somerset, and paused blushing. ‘Because if so,’ he resumed, ‘I was to announce you at once.’

And the shopman raised a curtain, opened a door, and passed into a small pavilion which had been added to the back of the house. On the roof, the rain resounded musically. The walls were lined with maps and prints and a few works of reference. Upon a table was a large-scale map of Egypt and the Soudan, and another of Tonkin, on which, by the aid of coloured pins, the progress of the different wars was being followed day by day. A light, refreshing odour of the most delicate tobacco hung upon the air; and a fire, not of foul coal, but of clear-flaming resinous billets, chattered upon silver dogs. In this elegant and plain apartment, Mr. Godall sat in a morning muse, placidly gazing at the fire and hearkening to the rain upon the roof.

‘Ha, my dear Mr. Somerset,’ said he, ‘and have you since last night adopted any fresh political principle?’

‘The lady, sir,’ said Somerset, with another blush.

‘You have seen her, I believe?’ returned Mr. Godall; and on Somerset’s replying in the affirmative, ‘You will excuse me, my dear sir,’ he resumed, ‘if I offer you a hint. I think it not improbable this lady may desire entirely to forget the past. From one gentleman to another, no more words are necessary.’

A moment after, he had received Mrs. Desborough with that grave and touching urbanity that so well became him.

‘I am pleased, madam, to welcome you to my poor house,’ he said; ‘and shall be still more so, if what were else a barren courtesy and a pleasure personal to myself, shall prove to be of serious benefit to you and Mr. Desborough.’

&lsqu............

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