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Chapter 9 Doctor Jekyll's confession
I was born in the year 18-. I inherited a large fortune,a strong healthy body and an excellent mind. I wasnaturally hard-working and soon I was extremely successful inmy chosen work as a scientist.Although I was still young,important people came to me for advice.At an age when mostyoung men are going out and having fun, I was behaving like agrey-haired old man.

This was not easy for me.The outside world saw a serious,hard-working doctor. Behind this quiet character, however,was an active, fun-loving young man-about-town. This, ofcourse, was nothing to be ashamed of, but I did not realizethat at the time. I was ashamed, and I soon learned to keepmy two lives separate.

I was not dishonest in any way.Both these people were me.The serious, successful young doctor was me, and the wild,fun-loving,irresponsible young man was me too.I thought about this for a long time and slowly I realized that I was notextraordinary in this. Every man has two sides to hischaracter. He is two people.They live together-often uncomfortably in the same body.

‘How fantastic,’I thought, if I could separate these twocharacters and give my fun-loving side his freedom. Then hecould go out and enjoy himself unashamedly and leave serious,studious Doctor Jekyll to get on with his important, life-savingwork.’

‘Was it possible,’ I wondered,‘to find a drug that couldgive each side of my characier its own separate face and body?’

After much thought and careful study I believed I had foundthe answer.I had read many scientific books and spent manyhours in my laboratory,searching for the right mixture ofchemicals to make my drug.At last I had everything I neededexcept a special kind of salt. I bought some from a chemist,and then I was ready.

I hesitated for a long time before I began my experiment.Only a small mistake in the mixture of the drug could meanimmediate death.But in the end,my wish to know wasstronger than my fear.And so, late one disastrous night, Imixed everything together and prepared my drug.I watchedthe smoke rising from the liquid as it changed colour from redto purple and at last to green.Then, bravely,I drank everybitter drop.

I felt a violent sickness in my stomach and a terrible pain inall my bones.The room seemed to turn round and round and Itrembled with fear.Then the fear and pain disappeared and astrange, sweet feeling took its place. Wild thoughts dancedthrough my mind. They were not good,serious thoughtsThey were the wild passions of an evil and cruel stranger. Butinside myself I felt younger, lighter, more carefree than everbefore.‘If this is pure evil,’I thought,‘I like it.’

I stood there. enjoying these strange new thoughts and passions-and suddenly realized that I was shorter.At that timethere was no mirror in my stidy. Later I put one on the wallof my study so that I could watch these changes in my appearance Now,however,it was three o’clock in the morning andall the servants were asleep.I decided it was safe to go to mybedroom in my new body and take a look at myself in the mirror there.I crossed the garden and entered my house like astranger. As I came into my room, I saw Edward Hyde forthe first time.

At that time,the good side of my character was strongerthan the evil side.Henry Jekyll had his faults,but he wasmostly a good, kind man.I cannot be sure,but I believe thatis the reason why Edward Hyde was so much smaller thanHenry Jekyll.But that was not the only difference betweenthe two men. Henry Jekyll had a kind, open, honest face.Pure evil stared out of Edward Hyde's eyes.I felt no dislike,however.Indeed,I welcomed him.Edward Hyde was me,young and strong and full of life.

Later,however,I noticed that Hyde's appearance andmanner had a strong effect on other people. Nobody couldmeet Edward Hyde without a feeling of dislike and horror. Ibelieve I understand the reason for this too. Everyone is a mixture of good and evil.Even the worst criminal has a little goodin him. Only Edward Hyde was pure evil.

I stood for a long time,staring at the mirror.‘Am Itrapped?’I wondered.‘If I am,I must leave this house beforedaylight. If I don't, I shall be arrested as a thief.

I hurried back to my study. With trembling hands I mixedanother dose of the drug and drank it.Again I felt that terriblePain and sickness, but a few seconds later I found myself withthe face and body and character of Henry Jekyll once more.

I blame myself for the things that happened later. It wasnot the fault of the drug.That was neither good nor evil.Butit opened the prison doors and all owed Edward Hyde toescape.Soon he was out of control. He, you will remember,was wholly evil.Doctor Jekyll was not wholly good, however.He was a normal man with normal faults and weaknesses, andHyde was too strong for him.

I welcomed Hyde,therefore.I arranged everything verycarefully.I bought a flat in a poor part of London, where Ikept Hyde's clothes and employed a servant to do the housework.I took a dose of the drug whenever I wanted to forgetmy old, quiet, serious self for a time. In those early daysGod forgive me!-I thought it was all very amusing. DoctorJekyll was well known.Nobody knew Hyde, however, and inhis body I was free to do as I wished.

I will not go into details about my adventures and shamefulacts as Hyde. Jekyll remained as good and kind as ever and always did his best to undo the harm that Hyde did. But as timewent by, Jekyll became less and less able to control Hyde.

One night Hyde injured a child in the street and a passer-bysaw him.That passer-by was your cousin. I recognized himwhen the two of you came to my window.Your cousin caughtHyde and an angry crowd collected. They asked for money forthe child's family. In the end, in order to escape, Hyde hadto give your cousin a cheque in the name of Jekyll.

I learned my lesson from this, and opened a new bank account in the name of Hyde. I even gave Hyde a different handwriting. I was sure I was safe-but I was wrong.

Two months before the murder of Sir Danvers Carew I wentout on one of my evil adventures.Before I went to bed,I tooka dose of the drug and became Doctor Jekyll once more. Iwoke up in bed the next morning with a strange feeling thatsomething was wrong… I looked around the room, thendown at my hand.Henry Jekyll's hand was large,white, andwellmade, but the hand I saw that morning on the bedcoverwas thin,bony, greyish-brown, and hairy.It was the hand ofEdward Hyde.

Sick with horror, I stared at it. I was Henry Jekyll when Iwent to bed,’I thought.‘And now I am Edward Hyde…What possible explanation can there be? And,moreimportant, how can I get to my study and take the drug?’

Then I realized that the servants were quite used to the comings and goings of Hyde. I put on Hyde's clothes and marchedconfidently through the house. Poole stared in surprise to seeMr Hyde so early in the morning, but I did not care. Tenminutes later Doctor Jekyll had returned to his own shape andwas sitting down,pretending to eat breakfast.

Too worried to eat, I sat there thinking hard about my situation. I realized that in recent weeks Hyde had become biggerand stronger, both in body and character.

‘What will I do,’I thought,‘ Hyde takes control?’Ithought about the drug. Once,in the early days,it had failedcompletely, and sometimes I had had to take a double dose before I changed into Hyde.Now,however,it was quite easy tobecome Hyde-the problem was to become Jekyll again aftermy adventures.My good self and my evil self were fighting formy mind and body-and my evil self was winning.

I knew I had to choose between the two, and I chose DoctorJekyll. Perhaps I was not wholly serious about this,however,because I did not sell Hyde's flat or destroy his clothes. Fortwo months I lived the life of a quiet and responsible man. Butsoon I began to miss Hyde-his strong young body, his love oflife and his dark adventures in the narrow, nameless streets ofLondon.One night, when my life as Jekyll seemed imposslblydull and boring, I mixed a dose of the drug and drank it.

It was like opening the door of a cage and letting a wild animal escape.That night I became a madman, and beat Sir Danvers to death-for no reason at all.I felt only a wild delight asI hit his body again and again. Afterwards I ran to the flat anddestroyed ............
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